What To Do When Motherhood Is Kicking Your Butt…

Photography: Hanna Hervall Photography | www.hannahervall.com

By Kimberley Newing

Someone asked me recently “How the heck do you it all and make it look so easy?!”

I laughed.

I laughed because motherhood kicks my butt. Running my own business also kicks my butt.

And the two combined…well let’s just say without the support I get, and my dedication to self care, the two would not be able to coexist in a harmonious way.

It’s the nights when my sleep is a constant interruption of requests from the eldest to the youngest (I have 3), that generally undo me the following day.

Without quality sleep, even the brightest day can seem dark, so I make a commitment to get to bed before 10pm on most weeknights and I do not work after 7pm.

It’s the times when I get so fixated on my business that the connection with my kids suffers and starts manifesting as troublesome behaviours or emotional outbursts.

Without making family fun time a priority, even my most successful business advancement can leave me feeling unfulfilled. We make a least one day per weekend a family fun day where we have an adventure together. No checking emails or Facebook, just playful, present, connection.

It’s the moments when I take my love for granted by ignoring his needs that my marriage suffers.

Without regular date nights and prioritising one anothers love language, intimacy and connection are lost and we start picking each other apart. We are lucky enough to take weekly dates outside of the house – kid free, just the two of us. Our level of closeness deepens with every year together (it’s been 14) and I know that’s part of the reason why.

It’s the times I feel like it’s all work and no pleasure that my heart becomes a little rigid and my thoughts laced with negativity.

Without an incredible group of like minded girlfriends, I would forget how much laughter helps and how to stay light in amongst the challenges I’m facing. ‘Whatsapp’ is my lifeline. We chat daily and I make the effort to see one of my good friends at least once a week – with or without kids.

It’s the times when I feel disjointed, worn out, exhausted, that have me questioning my choices and the path I am forging.

Without recognising that my needs matter and a dedicated spiritual practice, none of the above areas even stand a chance. I meditate every day. Sometimes for 1 minute, sometimes for 30 – but every day I turn inwards and connect to my higher guidance system. I go to dance classes when I can to keep my sensuality alive and I walk my dog often to keep my thoughts and emotions moving through and out.

So my answer to “How the heck do I do it all and make it look so easy?” …

A) I don’t do it all by myself, I have help in the form of childcare and a fortnightly cleaner and

B) I prioritize my Core Values.

These two things may seem contrary to what we’ve been taught as mothers. But without taking the time to fill myself up with the things that bring me joy, without living my values daily through EASY, REALISTIC activities…none of what I proudly bring to the world would be possible.

See next page for the rest…

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