Today was a good day. In fact, I would call it perfect. This morning I put my work aside and I spent it chatting to my little girl. I sent her to school with a smile on her lips. When the kids came home, we watched a movie and then I popped her brother to bed a little earlier. When he had been cuddled off to dreamland, I spent 2 hours just with my girl. No phones, no TV, just her and I – we folded washing, we read a book and we chatted. The most basic things but things we hadn’t done together for a long time as life has kept getting in the way.
When I was speaking to my husband about connection and how to rebuild it, I was talking about a yes day – maybe going to the cinema and lunch, but do you know what, that would never have beaten the perfect day we had today, matching socks and making up silly rhymes.
Our 2 hours have filled my heart and spirit with belief that it will be ok again.
That I can help her through this and that we can bond over the smallest things. It made me realise how I built up this time for reconnection that had to be perfect and such a special day, when all we really needed was to find what is special in every day.
I’m sure this isn’t the answer to everything pre-teen related and maybe I’ll annoy her by looking at her tomorrow again, but for tonight, as I quietly sit on the side of the bed next to my precious girl and stroke her hair as she falls asleep, I feel close to her again – I feel connected to her and the world just feels right again.
I might ask her to come cloud spotting tomorrow. She’s getting bigger but I need to remind myself that she is still just that little girl and I need to adapt my expectations accordingly. I need to meet her where she is and remind myself that behaviour is just the sign of a need. Find the need, meet it and resolve the unwanted behaviour – after all she is still learning and apparently so am I!
Originally published here
The Gentle Mum is a woman, simply trying to maneuver through motherhood with empathy and respect. Between training to become a breastfeeding peer supporter, completing her degree in Youth and Child studies and pursuing her writing hobby, she can be found on the school run, flustered whilst trying to be the best mother she can possibly be. These are her thoughts and musings on life, alongside the ups and downs of motherhood. The Gentle Mum can also be found as a columnist on The Glass House Girls.
