By Kylee Harris
If you’re a parent who is battling a long-term health issue and you notice that you’re much more stressed than usual, know that you aren’t alone. Research compiled by the Mental Health Foundation shows that 36% of all adults who reported stress in the previous year cited either their own or a friend/relative’s long-term health condition as a factor – and this percentage rose to 44% of adults over 55! If you are a parent, you may think that you can keep your stress under wraps, but you’re only human, and that means that it can be much harder to enjoy simply “being in the present moment” with your children. The good news is that with the help of tried-and-tested techniques, it is possible to accept the difficulties linked to your condition while also committing to embracing mindful strategies that will benefit your children’s well-being and your own.
What Is Mindful Parenting?
Mindful parenting is founded on five core principles. The first involves actively listening to your child. This means putting your phone away, shutting your computer, and listening to them fully and without distractions. The aim is to listen to understand what they want to say, instead of interrupting them, focusing on what you want to say, and offering advice they do not ask for. The second involves accepting yourself and your child without judgement. That means accepting that you won’t be perfect all the time. When you are in pain or tired, you may not be able to do all the things you hoped – and it is important for you to feel that this is okay. Thirdly, it involves being aware of yourself and your child’s emotions. For instance, if you are anxious about an upcoming appointment, simply knowing that you are feeling this emotion can help you manage it more positively. It is also vital to be clued into verbal and non-verbal emotional cues your child may be sending you. Fourthly, mindful parenting involves self-regulation. Say you recognise you’re anxious. The next step is to pause and do some breathing, instead of allowing your emotions to get the better of you. Finally, mindful parenting involves being compassionate toward your child and yourself.
Embracing Mindfulness Together
Mindfulness has been found in study after study to reduce stress and improve mood. It is also one of your strongest allies in your journey through mindful parenting. Additional benefits include pain alleviation, improved sleep, and better general health-all of which are helpful when you are battling an illness or recovering from one. To embrace the power of mindfulness, try one of the many activities, including mindfulness meditation, controlled breathing, yoga, Tai Chi, and forest bathing. The latter involves visiting a forest or another natural area such as the seaside or even a park, and opening your senses to the beauty around you. Another activity you can try alongside your children is mindful eating. The latter involves chewing food slowly and being aware of its taste and texture. It also involves choosing foods mindfully. For instance, it is known that high-sugar foods can intensify pain. Through mindful eating, you can select foods that can help battle pain and inflammation. These include fruits and vegetables, legumes, nuts, and Omega-3 essential fatty acids.
Obtaining Support
As beneficial as mindful parenting can be, it can be hard to stick to at all hours of the day. When chronic disease is accompanied by pain and weakness, it can be hard to muster the patience and strength you need to parent your children calmly. If you do react with anger or frustration, it is important to acknowledge your mistake and apologise. This will not only make your child feel seen and heard, but will also model behaviours that will be useful for them to demonstrate when they are older. It is equally vital to seek help, both from family members (who can help you with daily tasks and duties) and, if necessary, from a professional therapist. Consider psychological treatments as an important part of pain management because understanding and managing the thoughts and emotions that come with pain can help you cope with pain more effectively and even, studies show, reduce its intensity.
Mindful parenting involves active listening, emotional awareness, emotional regulation, and compassion. It can sometimes feel more challenging to embrace all these skills when you are in pain or you are worried or stressed because of a health challenge. Mindfulness techniques, accountability, and family and professional support can all help curb stress. Professional therapy, in particular, can empower you to harness techniques that will help you understand your thoughts and emotions and cope with pain more positively.
Kylee Harris is an educator who has taught in elementary schools in Singapore and Hong Kong for 5 years. She lives in Florida and continues to teach life skills to young adults in her community.
