Perhaps when we support birth care providers, it is not only important to consider how they are getting enough pay, meals, breaks, education and collegial support, but also how they be supported in toning down their wolf cries, (supporting their nervous systems and lowering adrenaline levels). How can we support each other to be in our bodies? To be able to utilise the big intelligent listening system? To be able to physically ‘hear’ when a woman is ready to birth her baby?
When we are disembodied, we are separated from our big listening device, we cannot hear, we have lost the beat.
We have lost the beat of birth.
We have lost the beat of our bubbas.
We have lost the beat of the labour rhythm.
It has become an awkward dance.
However, for some birth givers, the act of giving birth offers an opportunity for them to get back into alignment with their body’s beat.
Breath in and out.
Belly up and down.
Waves come and go.
Baby sleeps and wakes.
As a care provider, to be dancing in the beat of a woman’s labour can be ecstatic. But it requires us to be in our bodies – to be able to hear the beat. It also requires us to be flexible in capacity to dance. As a care provider/ birth support person, sometimes we might hear the beat first and be able to support the birth giver into their own rhythm.
The birthing person also needs to be able to hear the beat and be flexible with their capacity to dance and to be invited back into the possibility of their ability to dance.
As care providers, to be able to support others to dance to their own rhythms, we need to care for our system. Otherwise, it can be like trying to teach the tango when we don’t know the steps.
I wonder how many modern midwifery schools teach birth tango. How many teach sensuousness – i.e. to be in and listening with our senses. How juicy would a sensuous tango (or any other dance) teaching midwifery school be?
To address, compassionately, how we support birth, the birthing person, the family and the care provider, perhaps we need to consider:
- How do we support ourselves to be in our bodies in a delicious way?
- How do we resource back to the intelligence of our bodies?
- How do we allow for and create the opportunities to ‘hear’ our bodies and to be able to ‘hear’ from our bodies?
- How do we create opportunities for spaciousness and going at our body’s pace?
- Exploring what is our relationship with physical pleasure. Do we experience physical pleasure and if not why?
Some potential ways we could do this might be:
- Dancing – especially where there are no prescribed steps to follow.
- Non-linear movement, or any type of movement.
- Watching natures rhythms – waves, wind, the movement of our own breath.
- Recognising the wolf calls (adrenal alerts) – and minimising them if possible.
- Turning the sound off for messages/emails.
- Prioritising quiet, unrushed time like lounging about.
- Exploring what feels physically pleasurable – the breeze/sun on our skin, eating a beautiful meal, beautiful fabric in our clothes, listening to beautiful music, singing, swimming, showers, baths, smelling delicious things.
- Nature bathing – i.e. immersing ourselves in nature.
- Making love, with our self or others.
- Exploring what makes our oxytocin flow.
- Prioritising what feels lovely.
May we all be able to experience comfort, joy and pleasure in our bodies.
May our bodies be once again heeded with the reverence they deserve .
May we find spaciousness.
May birth and mothering come to be a delicious experience.
May we step into our power and our pleasure.
May we be able to tune out the wolf cries.
May we be able to find our inner wild wolf.
Claire is a mother, Midwife, Spinning Babies ® Approved Trainer and Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapist. She provides care for families choosing home birth and she offers private bodywork sessions in Auckland for pregnancy, postnatal, babies or anyone wishing to have support with women’s issues. Claire offers private birth support classes in your home or via zoom. She can be contacted at clairehomebirth@gmail.com.
Claire has the honour of facilitating Spinning Babies ® workshops in New Zealand and internationally. For information on Spinning Babies ® workshops you can click on this link.
