I told her that the word ‘responsibility’ weighs heavily on you like never before. All the choices previously made for yourself seem small when you’re solely in charge of another human being.
I told her about the fourth trimester, about the body changes, the baby blues I experienced.
I told her I’m still working out where I fit into all this, the girl before who was carefree and who loved not knowing what tomorrow would bring… I’m still letting her go and some days even mourning for her.
But I also told her this:
As much as I loved my independence and my work, I never had the same sense of gratitude at the end of my day as I do now.
I told her that even though parts of me have been left behind (maybe temporarily, maybe not), I’ve never grown so much as a person as I have since becoming a mum. My children have shaped me and been my best teachers.
I told her that my heart has never felt so full and content, all from just hearing their laughter, watching them eat or to see them breathing softly as they sleep.
I’m appreciating the small things, that I’ve now learnt are everything.
I told her it’s a whole new love, not just for them but for my husband too… We may only see each other in glimpses at the moment, but this love has been carved out of special moments, not time.
I told her it’s a big sacrifice in the beginning, we gave up a lot, but we also gained so much more and I know one day when I look back I will never be prouder of myself for loving them day in and day out, and finally learning to love myself too.
In truth they are my soul’s equal.
Dear friend, it can be bloody hard, but it’s beautiful, and your life will be beautiful whatever you choose.
Jess Urlichs spent the last few years in Australia where she met her husband in Melbourne, then moved back to her home town of Christchurch to start a family.
She is a stay-at-home mother to two babies a year apart, Harrison and Holly, having previously worked in Human Resources. Her passions are her family, her home-made candle business and writing.
Writing about motherhood has been a great outlet and she loves being able to reach others and connect with many who are on the same challenging but incredibly beautiful journey. Check her out on Facebook and Instagram.
