Encourage her to self-care.
This goes for all new mums but, as breastfeeding mamas can be feeding constantly in the early weeks, she will need to be encouraged to take snippets of time for herself. Run her a bath, put baby in a sling or wrap and let her soak for a bit – chocolate/wine/tea/other drink or snack of her choice optional but usually very welcome. Send her for a nap – even 20 minutes will make her feel renewed. Buy her a new book or magazine if that’s her thing. There are plenty of ideas here. In short, use your knowledge of her to think about what would make her feel better, and do it.
If there are instances where you need to feed by bottle, read up on how to bottle feed a breastfed baby, including ‘paced feeding’. It is SO important, when bottle-feeding a breastfed baby, to be aware of, clued up on and do paced feeding. Milk from the breast doesn’t all come at once, supply is stimulated by the baby and it peaks and troughs. A bottle, on the other hand, has all the milk there is one go. It is incredibly important to mimic the breastfeeding pattern (in allowing the baby to take small amounts at a time and with pauses) to ensure the baby does not overfeed and to ensure the breastfeeding relationship continues when mum is able to feed again. This is a really useful “how to” guide.
Don’t have a timescale in mind.
Chances are, once breastfeeding is established and becomes easier, she may well end up continuing indefinitely. Jo never imagined she’d be feeding until four months into her second pregnancy and Lauren didn’t think she’d still be nursing a 19-month old. Adjust your expectations and let her do her thing, without judgement – she gets enough of that from people who don’t know better: “Oh my goodness, you’re feeding a toddler?! When will you STOP?!”
This is a team effort.
Breastfeeding mamas and their babies create what is known as a dyad (one being, consisting of two elements). However, think of yourself as being the third part of this grouping – your support is utterly invaluable. She is giving the baby comfort and responding to its needs; you can do the same for her.
Some brilliant FB groups to have a quick scroll through, for instant support and guidance:
La Leche League USA
LLLGB
Breastfeeding Uncovered (Dr Amy Brown)
Pinky McKay
Grubby Mummy and her Grubby Babies
The Milk Meg
The Leaky Boob
Originally published on Tales From The Mother Side. Jo is co-founder of ‘Tales from the Mother Side’, a blog centred around gentle parenting, breastfeeding support and the ups and downs of life as a parent. You can also find them on Facebook.
