I realize that when a child throws a temper tantrum at the grocery store or on the playground, it’s inconvenient. Sometimes, it’s downright embarrassing. If situations like that irk you, please know you’re not alone. Remain calm; practice deep breathing.
If I had a single piece of advice around your child’s big feelings, I’d suggest that you let go completely about what other people think and simply connect to your child. This connection is going to get you through age two, and all of the other years that follow. Now is a great time to practice.
And here’s the crazy thing — most “terrible twos” spend very little time upset. In my personal and professional experience, two-year-olds are incredibly delightful most of the time. The amount of time they spend being curious, giggly, and affectionate far outweighs anything else.
If anyone tells you otherwise, surprise them with your compassion.
Surprise people with your ability to see the joy at your child’s newfound mobility and freedom, because it’s new to him. We can learn to run faster.
Surprise people with your gentle support of your child’s awesome new ways to show you “this is who I am and what I like”, because advocating for herself is new to her. (And how freeing it must be to clearly know your boundaries like little kids do. What a gift they have this way!) We can learn to help our child navigate communication.
Surprise people with your flexibility around forced sleep times; we all sleep when we’re tired enough, and this incredible desire to play with you every waking hour is new to your child, too. We can learn to adapt.
Sure enough, when we figure out how to modify our parenting to support our quickly evolving two-year-olds, it all falls into place.
Part of respectful parenting means we learn to work with the child in front of us, even when it requires that we, ourselves, grow in our abilities. Additionally, it means we’re intentional about the ways we describe our children to others. Our words matter and our kids are listening. Do we like them? Do we want to foster a positive connection based on mutual trust? As parents, we’re called not only to be kind to them, but also to reflect that kindness in the words we use about them.
When someone mentions the “terrible twos” to me, I often reply with a shrug and respond, “Huh. I’ve always called them the ‘terrific twos.'” ‘Nuff said. One person at a time, we can change perception — because after all, our perception is our reality, isn’t it?
Your two-year-old child is wonderfully fine, and more often than not, perfectly terrific. And really, you’re a perfectly terrific parent, too.
Originally published here.
Sarah R. Moore is a published writer, positive parenting educator on Dandelion-Seeds.com, advocate for natural living, and world traveler. She spent a year observing Teacher Tom, who’s one of the world’s leading practitioners of ‘democratic play-based’ education. In addition, she’s the blog and social media manager for worldwide bestselling parenting author, Elizabeth Pantley. Most importantly, she’s a mum. You can also find Sarah on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest.
