Gah!
Frozen with the unexpected insult, I somehow managed to let him proceed with the rest of her well check. Indeed, she was growing and thriving. She was, holistically, getting plenty of sleep. And I was okay with being there for her when she needed me, day or night. I considered it a privilege. We’d lost her older sister halfway through that pregnancy; did he not know how much my heart longed to be there for this child? That going to her when she called was exactly what I wanted to do-that holding and comforting her was the greatest earthly gift I’d ever known? I was perfectly happy to take sleep day-by-day.
To be clear, I spent the next few days feeling livid and replaying the conversation in my mind. I questioned and centred myself, going back and forth, in a crazy-making loop.
How dare he imply that I wasn’t serious about parenting? I was fully committed, fully present, and fully engaged in the well-being of my child.
She didn’t “make” me respond to her; I chose to respond because it was my instinct to do so.
We never saw him again.
As tempting as it was to stay angry with him, anger never serves anyone well if it morphs into rumination. As a raw emotion, however, it can serve a healthy purpose.
In this case, it did. I let the anger burn as a fuel; not to consume me, but rather, to give life to passion for supporting other parents. Passion for education about normal sleep and child development. Passion for encouraging new mothers to trust themselves; to allow themselves to be physically and emotionally present for their children.
Promptly, I went to the bookstore and bought The No-Cry Sleep Solution by worldwide bestselling author Elizabeth Pantley. Her tips worked.
From there, I flooded myself with all the resources I could find about respectful and positive parenting and consumed them voraciously. I wanted to have all the science, knowledge, and expertise I could possibly find to validate that it is, indeed, a good idea to be kind to children (go figure).
The pediatrician gave me a gift that day. He planted a seed-a desire to “get serious about parenting” in a whole new way-that I’d likely not have otherwise felt with such vigour.
To the extent that I can as just one mama, I want to empower other parents to walk out of a situation-be it a doctor’s office or anywhere else they don’t feel supported-and say, “No. This isn’t right. I want better for my child. Where can I find that?”
I want this to be one of those places for you. Indeed, I’ve gotten serious about parenting-not in the way that doctor implied I should-but in a way that I hope will be much more impactful for a growing community of mindful and positive parents.
Originally published here.
Sarah R. Moore is a published writer and the founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. You can follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram. Certified by the Raffi Foundation for Child Honouring, she works alongside bestselling author Elizabeth Pantley. She also spent a year observing Teacher Tom, a leading practitioner of ‘democratic play-based’ education. Her glass is half full.
