What I’m Giving Up This Mother’s Day

Photography: Katherine Heise

By Michelle Zunter

For mother’s day this year, there will be some things I’m not getting. I probably won’t be doing a day at the spa, getting a pedicure, or drinking a mimosa.

Those things are all great – please don’t get me wrong.

But I’ve decided I’ll be giving up some things for mother’s day this year instead.

This mother’s day I’m getting rid of things that clutter my mind and emotions. Those stress-causing elements of my life that need some prompt spring cleaning. Things I need to eradicate in order to be the best version of myself which, in turn, means being a more engaged mother (and stepmother).

I’m giving myself permission to let go of the toxic thoughts inside my own head. The thoughts that tell me, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m a bad mom.” That ugly, self- defeating banter that plays out in my head when I’m feeling insecure or I feel I’ve screwed up in some way.

I’m giving up the never-ending battle of comparison with other moms. I’m embracing the concept of knowing that I’m doing the best I can for my family with the knowledge and experience that I have so far.

Thus, I’m letting go of those frustrating, uncontrollable parts of my life that I constantly stress out about. I’m curling my arms around the things that I can control and improve on.

For instance, I’m ending all guilt trips. There will be no more flights leaving for that destination. I’m letting go of needing permission from anyone as to how my family should function or how I should live my life. I’m not going to let the burden of other people’s opinions throw me down a pit of guilt and shame.

If my husband and I want to make decisions about our children or ourselves that others don’t approve of – so be it. I’m confident enough to make decisions by myself or with my partner and I’m capable of eating the failures that will inevitably come with some of those decisions.

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