I’m not gonna lie… for most of us it takes a lot of work to get there, to be comfortable with the big negative emotions… but it’s so worth the effort!
I challenge you to let your kids feel their feelings!
Deep connection and understanding lies around the corner for those who are willing to accept the challenge.
Here are 4 Tips for Letting Your Child Feel Their Feelings:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel Yours
The first step in acknowledging your child’s feelings is to feel your own. Take a moment to ask yourself, “what am I feeling right now?”. Try to give your feelings a name – anger, disappointment, frustration, etc. You don’t need to tell anyone in the moment. It is enough to just acknowledge it.
2. Admit That It’s Hard
Take a moment to acknowledge that this is hard and uncomfortable and just know you will get through it. This often softens the hard feelings and helps you, as the parent, breathe and gain perspective.
3. You Don’t Have to Like Them BUT Don’t Try to Change Them
Your child is entitled to their own experience. By showing that you understand that, you invite connection. AND you’re able get your point across better!
4. TRUST
Know that you can have your feelings AND your child can have his own feelings AND progress can be made from that place. This allows you both to move forward and find common ground, RATHER than arguing over whose feelings are “right”. In the end, we all just want to feel heard and this is a great way to let your child know you hear them.
To feelings!
This is an extract from Lisa Smith’s guide to Peaceful Parenting During Uncertain Times.
Lisa Smith is a Mum and Parent Coach who knows the joy of transformation, but really, she helps turn frustrated parents – who regularly default to yelling, threatening and punishing – into peaceful leaders within their households. As a former dominant parent, she found the path to Peaceful Parenting and is dedicated to helping other parents find their way too!
When she’s not coaching, you’ll most likely find her at a basketball game rooting on her son or travelling somewhere new. She is obsessed with cross-fit, personal development and romance novels. You’ll almost always find her with a Starbuck’s iced green tea in her hand.
