By Sarah Noble
As Alyssa woke for the 9th time by 1.30 am, I felt myself go a little more loopy.
The thoughts started to creep in.
Why isn’t she staying asleep?
Is it something I ate?
Is there something wrong with her?
The anxiety started to build.
Will I get any sleep tonight?
How am I going going to handle another night of such broken sleep? It’s been months….
Sleep deprivation is extremely detrimental, along with the usual postnatal depletion from growing, birthing and often nourishing a baby (or 2!) with your body.
I haven’t had a baby who (doesn’t) sleep like Alyssa.
I show up every night and I do what needs to be done.
And I will, every night.
But, months on end of such little, broken sleep is torture.
Especially with an active toddler.
It’s testing my tools and practices to no end.
It’s battling with my victim mindset around having chronic insomnia while battling this.
If you have a wakeful baby, I see you.
I see you trying trying to find answers, hoping something will click and “fix” your baby’s sleep.
I see you crying and struggling.
I see you showing up every damn night and giving your baby the comfort they need, while you almost lose your mind from lack of sleep.
Dear Mama with a wakeful baby, we WILL sleep again.
I dunno when.
But, until then, I’m sitting here in the dim light, rocking my baby with you.
Sarah Noble is a Mum of a 6-month-old and 2.5-year-old. She is a Mindset Coach for Mums, helping them to manage their mind, optimise their mental health and come home to their authentic selves, while navigating motherhood. She also hosts Mamas’ circles. She loves normalising conversations around everyday motherhood and mental health and shares her own journey openly. You can connect with Sarah on Instagram and Facebook.