By Sarah Noble
We are told not to tell anyone we are pregnant, until the second trimester.
We are told to keep it quiet, because the risk of miscarriage is much higher in those first 3 months.
Yet, because miscarriage is so common, many women end up miscarrying alone, or with just one or two people to support them through an extremely traumatic time – physically, mentally and emotionally. This isn’t OK.
I’m one of those women. In January, I miscarried at around 6 weeks pregnant.
I had only told my partner, a couple of friends and mine and my partner’s parents. Due to the fact miscarriage – despite being so common – isn’t openly talked about, I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know what was going to happen, or what I needed to do (if anything) afterwards. I wasn’t able to talk about it as I was going through it, as I hadn’t openly talked about it and no-one I had told had experienced one.
I don’t want that to happen again, to me, or to another woman. I opened up about my miscarriage journey afterwards and received so many messages of support and solidarity. Many women told me their miscarriage stories, including women who had grown-up children, but still remember.
Early pregnancy matters. Early pregnancy is HARD. We MUST, as a society, start opening up and speaking about the first trimester, about miscarriage.
Women should feel empowered and supported to share their happy news, no matter whether they are 6 weeks or 12 weeks pregnant. Women should feel comfortable knowing that if they do miscarry, they will have a tribe of women there to support them through it. There will be no shame or stigma around it. Many Women believe there is something wrong with their body, they think it’s just them – because we don’t openly talk about it!