Finding the space in between
I know what you might be thinking – finding a moment to yourself in the chaos of the day is next to impossible.
Throughout this season of motherhood, I’ve learned my quiet times are as unique as each new baby giggle and as inconsistent as a toddler’s nap schedule. And you know what? That’s okay!
But here are my top three suggestions to make quiet time happen:
- Simplify schedules
Do less to do more. Sounds simple no? But it’s often the hardest part when we realise, to make room for quiet time, we may need to do less.
We can cut down on activities for the kids and start saying no to commitments that don’t really matter (or can be done in non-quiet times). It takes confidence to slow down.
While there are some mothers who must genuinely have to work super-hard to keep a roof over their family and food on the table, the reality is that many of us run around like Road Runner for things that non-essential.
The hard questions to ask when simplifying is “Do I know how valuable I am? WHY am I running around like crazy – is it because of what people might think (or maybe it’s myself) if I don’t achieve ALL the things?”.
All the extra time might take some getting used to, but our minds and bodies (and families!) will thank us.
- Be there when we’re “on duty”
One of the biggest reasons I don’t feel guilty about taking time for myself is because when I am on-duty, I make the most of it. Because I get regular quiet time, I enjoy my kids a lot more.
Let me be clear here – being present doesn’t mean we are required to entertain our kids whenever we are with them. There’s this notion that “good” mothers spend all day baking and doing crafts, kicking a ball at the park and playing cars or dolls.
I love to play with my kids and I do that often, but life goes on and work still needs to be done – and the kids help. We have followed a Montessori style philosophy since they were both young and they love to be involved around the house and be with us.
We play while we work – we sing, dance around to some fun music and laugh. That way, the house gets cleaned, the kids are happy and when it’s time to rest – we all rest.
- Resist the black hole
By black hole, I mean anything that may lead you to wonder how the hell three hours have gone by and you have just sat down. This will be different for every person.
For me, since I do a lot of work online, I avoid anything screen-related as it doesn’t relax me (i.e TV, Facebook or Netflix). I nap, or if I honestly can’t sleep, I walk outside, or read a book that actually has pages.
Know what your black hole tendencies are and choose things that are different in your precious free moments.
So many mothers give up quiet times altogether because they can’t do them in the morning, or they can’t do them for at least 30 minutes, or they never have a moment alone.
But it’s not about perfect. Everyone’s motherhood journey and life in general are different and we need to figure out what works for us. But one thing stands true – no matter who you are. You need rest.
Give yourself permission to find your quiet place.
Sugandha Chapman is the founder of My Organic Child – a hub for organic style, natural parenting and conscious living for modern mums. Her writing has been featured at The Huffington Post, Do You Yoga and Beautiful Coach Magazine.
Photography: Melissa Letham, Little Moon Birth Photography
