The drive: What challenges have you overcome?
Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, I feel like my life has been blessed. I think one of the upsides of working with those who have experienced trauma, is that it puts your own life in perspective. That said, life has not always been smooth sailing. Several years ago, my husband and I were living in Sydney, NSW, he was Asia-Pacific Director of Sales for an international training company, and I was a barrister at the NSW Bar. Our lives were all about work and achievement. We suffered a series of burglaries and realised that we wanted to re-evaluate our lives and our priorities. It was a real turning point. We had a tree change and moved to beautiful Toowoomba, in the mountains west of Brisbane, Queensland.
After years of infertility, we were finally blessed with our amazing daughter. But I struggled as a new mum. I was working as a lawyer specialising in Abuse Law (dealing with psychological injuries as a result of trauma) and travelling around the country running litigation. It was a huge change to be at home with a newborn and no idea what I was doing. I will never forget how it felt to struggle and how anxious I was about everything. I realised that what I was experiencing was actually very common. My midwife told me that she found that professional women struggled the most as new mums and when I thought about it, it made sense. We were smart, educated achievers who knew what it was like to be good at what we did. And then overnight we were sleep-deprived, brain-fogged mummies who could not even get our babies to sleep or work out why they were crying. It was also just so unexpected. I fell for the myth that most people put out there; they pretend that they are fine and everything is great, when this is rarely the reality.
When I returned to work, I discovered that I was struggling with vicarious trauma. After years of hearing horrific accounts of child abuse, having my own child was making these accounts even more real in a way that had not been for me before. I ended up seeking my own therapy and being able to quickly return to my work. It further fuelled my passion to work in mental health.
So, I built on my existing psychology degree and returned to university to study counselling. I then moved out of law and into counselling and I have never been happier.
For better or worse: What are the pros and cons of running your own business?
The cons are the constant low-level anxiety of whether the clients will keep calling or whether you will be successful. I think imposter syndrome is always a little voice in the back of your head reminding you not to get too comfortable. Not having a steady income was also a worry but I am finding that it is working out so far. I try to keep my focus on doing the best job that I can and trusting that the rest will flow from that. For me the pros far outweigh the cons. The biggest pros are the flexibility and that I am doing something I am completely passionate about. I love what I do, and I love that it allows me to make it to school events and gives me enough time to engage in the self-care that I need to operate at my peak. It is an absolute privilege to work with my clients and to be trusted to hold their stories and walk with them on their journeys.
Hopes and dreams: What next?
In the short term, I am currently writing a thesis, so that is keeping me entertained. I hope to complete my doctorate in the future, as well as training in some additional treatment modalities such as EMDR.
In the more distant future, I hope to build up Mindsmith Wellness into a multidisciplinary practice. I hope to find like-minded trauma-informed professionals so that our clients can have one safe place that they can receive all their care. I would also like to move into education and training, educating allied health professionals on trauma-informed care.
Finally, I am looking forward to building up The Parenthood Collaborative with my partners so that we can be helping expectant parents set themselves up for wonderful parenting journeys. We hope to move into online programs as well as the face-to-face babymoon weekend programs, and weekly programs.
It is so easy for me to get caught up in what is next and all the possibilities, so I have to remind myself to also stop and enjoy how far I have come sometimes.
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