Follow through
If you have stated that they cannot play outside until they have packed up all of their toys, then you need to follow through with that.
Packing up toys is usually one of our expectations as parents because we like to keep a tidy house. Your toddler would be more than happy to walk through and around their toys all day long!
Therefore, packing up for them is neither fun nor necessary.
To make packing up fun and a little easier, we sing a song together, “it’s time to pack away, the work is done, we’ve had our fun, it’s time to pack away,” on repeat while packing away the toys. All three of our girls have packed away without a fuss while we’re singing that song!
If packing up still doesn’t happen, then you need to follow through with the mindful consequence that you’ve stated. I say mindful because the consequence you give always needs to be fair for their age and related. Packing up indoor toys so that they can play with their outdoor toys is fair and related.
Reflective listening
Listening is where it’s at – the absolute crux of human connection.
Listening carefully to your little people from the very start is the best way to show them that you care – you are willing and able to connect wholeheartedly.
When you open up your heart space to truly listen, really connect unconditionally and without judgement, your child’s emotions will rock you to the very core – they lead with love because they know nothing else. So, let’s do the same.
Stopping what you are doing, listening and then reflecting to your toddler what it is that they have said will then show them that you are really hearing them, that being heard matters and that you are respecting their feelings.
If you are wondering if your child really is a good listener or why it seems that they never hear you, go deep and lean in – are you wholeheartedly listening to them?
A hug
No one is ever too little (or too big!) for a hug!
Hugs literally change our mood. When we hug someone, oxytocin is released into our bodies via our pituitary gland. It then begins to lower both our heart rates and our cortisol levels.
Cortisol is the hormone that is responsible for stress, so why wouldn’t we want to increase our connection with a big hug so it can benefit both of our wellbeing, especially after a big upset!
As parents, our children will naturally turn to us in times of comfort; they look up to us to show them the way. In early childhood, they need our assistance in regulating their big emotions and feelings, and we can begin to do that mindfully if we put some thought into it, because after all, we are their role models.
Being a mindful and conscious parent is a HUGE responsibility and sometimes I will literally feel the weight of that upon my shoulders and in my heart.
What I do know though, is that when I practise softening my approach with my children, I will noticeably see them soften too.
It takes A LOT of patience!
Always a few tears (on my part too!) but with your actions and words, changing to a softer state of being you can begin to change your child’s intense reactions too.
When we can begin to think mindfully about how we wish to parent our children, we will then be able to become more accepting of the things in life that we cannot change (such as their fiery temperament!) and begin to be more about living in the now.
When we stop fighting fire with fire, we can then begin a new journey into mindful parenting, a journey into contentment, doing exactly what we are designed for.
Being in the moment with our children.
Nikki Smith, is the founder of Earthway Parenting and mother to 3 beautiful, sensitive, and boisterous little women. She has been a Registered Nurse for the past 12 years with a 4-year hiatus in between so that she could be a mum. Nikki also has a Postgraduate in Maternal Child and Family Nursing and has been working and supporting families on the Gold Coast, Northern Rivers and now Central Coast of NSW Australia over the past 5 years. Nikki’s expertise is in early infancy and toddler behaviour. She is passionate about maternal mental health and wellbeing as well as providing wholistic conscious parenting support.
You can find further inspiration, support and information at earthwayparenting.com.au and join their Facebook and Instagram communities.
