Parenting is Not That Hard

What was really interesting about this uprising (who knew parenting was such a hot issue), was that my husband and I work with an aid organisation who fundraise for two orphanages in Africa, one of which was in desperate need of food for their kids. The day before I posted the message about how easy parenting is, I had made an announcement about the needs of the orphanage, encouraging people to help, and got exactly 2 likes, and exactly zero donations. This was a big wake up call to me to how self-absorbed parents can be, and how invisible other people’s problems can become.

Anyway, back to my discourse; the part I don’t get about parenting being hard, is that people have been parenting for thousands of years, in every country; it’s like breathing, eating, sleeping; the most natural thing in the world. You give birth to a kid; you look after it. That simple. Even people who live in extreme poverty take care of their kids, and even animals, even fish, even insects! And they don’t even have the self-help books and mother’s groups we do. It is a God-given, innate instinct.

I know many people struggle, and probably don’t want to hear that others find it pretty easy-going, but the thing that has frustrated me from my experiences working in social work with at-risk families, is that it doesn’t benefit these families to be told “Well yeah, guess what, parenting is the hardest job in the world; even for middle class families, stay-at-home mums, and families with no drug, alcohol, poverty, or domestic violence related problems, so sheesh, no wonder you are struggling.” Now that is not a message of hope!

The way I see it, and I haven’t read many parenting books, is I follow a pretty basic principle: do unto others as I would be done by. Easy. For the most part it comes pretty naturally; you love them, and do what feels right in your heart. Would you want to be yelled at? No. Then don’t yell at your kids. Would you want to be hit? No, that’s assault; then don’t hit your kids. Would you want to be fed, warm, bathed, clothed, and nit-free? Of course. So make sure they are. Would you want to have freedom and choices, but at the same time be guided to doing what’s in your best interests? Sounds pretty good. I find this simple principle very much more encouraging to struggling parents. And I find, for me, it works.

So guess what? I have good news. There is hope. Anyone can be a parent, and even a good one. It is not too hard, and can even be heaps of fun!

Holly Blair is the mama of an 18-month old little boy, Jude. A wife. An entrepreneur. She and her husband have just purchased their first home and are making the move from Auckland to Whakatane. You can find Holly on her Website or on Facebook.