So Full

Photography:Alexa Doula Photography

By Hayley Zemontas

You’re gonna feel so full 
Full of wonder, full of love 
The feeling that you can never get enough
Of gazing upon your newborn’s face
That first moment, time can never erase 
You’re gloriously, joyously full 
But as you shower and slough off the day
Wash the grime and fatigue of birth away
You’ll suddenly realise who you now are 
Face to face with a raw caesarean scar 
And rawer still, your stomach once round
Taut and shining; an orb profound 
Now is tender, boggy and strange 
And as euphoria starts to fade 
You might feel empty, and that’s okay. 

Once your babies are born, 
you’ll feel a little empty 
Flat and aching; a soulless nest 
Both hollow and heavy within your chest 
In this moment, you’re vulnerable and sore 
Exhaustion seeps from every pore 
And your womb is so suddenly bare 
But as you mourn the loss of your pregnant self 
A completely new person is birthed as well 
As you watch those perfect hands unfurl 
To wrap tight around your finger, curled 
Your eyes will seep and your heart will sing
As you try on this beautiful, unfamiliar skin 
You’re a Mother now, both soft and strong 
The piece that’s been missing all along
Some days, the emptiness will hit you still
But ultimately, you’ll feel so fulfilled. 

Hayley Zemontas is a first-time mum to twin girls. She loves writing poetry and finds it very therapeutic. You can find her on her Facebook page: Twinmumtruths.

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