Dear Mamas,
There will never be a moment when it isn’t the truth that you are the most important thing in your world.
If you’re like me, you will feel the most indescribable primal pull to do everything and anything for your baby. And to be with them almost all the time.
Follow that instinct. Surrender to ask for help in order to do it. Give nothing less than your all. (And no one else knows what your “all” is; that’s for YOU to know and honor.)
Babies are the greatest miracle. Life emerging through another life. We cannot comprehend this fully with our brains; we must engage our hearts and our primal, instinctual selves to fully appreciate it.
Your baby is a genius.
No joke. Babies are energetic geniuses and life IS energy. So do it. Give that baby your all. In all the world, there’s no greater Return on Investment (ROI).
And, in the slivers of moments when you feel like you could really use some sleep and your husband, or your best friend, or your mom or your kind neighbor, is within reach — reach for them. Let their loving arms make a place for your precious baby while you: SLEEP. Don’t rob an opportunity from someone else who’s dear to you, to cherish the divine skin and breath of your precious child. Don’t rob them, either, of a chance to care for and love you. YOU know how good it feels to care for others, right? It’s universal.
You can only give as much as you’ve got. If your tank is full, you can give to others superwoman-style. If your tank needs fuel, pump it up hot mama.
If you are suffering with physical, spiritual, emotional or mental challenges, it is a disservice to everyone around you, and clearly to yourself, to wait a single second before taking action to take care of yourself. You can only give as much as you’ve got. If your tank is full, you can give to others superwoman-style. If your tank needs fuel, pump it up hot mama.
Feeling underappreciated? Get over yourself and this culture’s adolescent and perverse perspective around self-care — especially for women — and ASK FOR IT. Ask five of your dearests, friends or family, to tell you, in an email or text or in person, what they admire about you. Have them help you fill your cup. This is Village. We are meant to take care of each other, not to starve ourselves when we need something as essential as feeling valued. Get over the “this means I’m weak and insecure” baloney. It means you’re BREATHING.
You are infinitely important. Your baby is best off when you remember this.
And for me?
Less: screen time, and none after dark. A break from Facebook for the rest of the summer, or at least a few weeks. Less life pressure. Less responding to texts instantly.
More: trust that it’s all working out. More acupuncture, massage, exercise, sleep. More time away for myself, now that my daughter is 3 years and 4 months old, and past the most foundational “bubble of innocence” phase that I so fiercely protected.
Yeah, rocket science. Yet somehow, taking care of ourselves sometimes seems like the hardest thing to do. One small step at a time, mamas. We do this together.
Jessica Rios is a mother, greeting card artist at Swede Beam and Rio, 13-year leadership coach, and the founder of Leaning into Light. Her lifelong art is letter writing, and her life’s work is dedicated to illuminating the beauty of the human spirit. Since she was a child, Love has been her religion.
