- Meditate.
One of the main benefits of meditation is that it creates “unconditional friendliness” toward the self. You could also think of this as unconditional love for yourself. Research shows that even ten minutes of meditation every day makes a huge difference in your ability to stay calm. That’s because it actually changes your brain – for the better, and permanently! Why not try it? I know you don’t have 10 minutes. Maybe try letting the kids listen to an audio book (which is good for them!) while you listen to a meditation audio?
- Give yourself the support you need: When you lose it, find a way to use it.
Parenting is really, truly, the hardest thing any of us will ever do, because it requires us to grow. So we all need to give ourselves support if we want to parent well. Instead of berating yourself when you make a mistake, resolve to learn from it. OK, so you lost it and screamed at your child. Stop beating yourself up. Calm yourself down. Apologize (and resist the urge to make it your child’s fault.)
Hard? Yes. You’re creating love out of nothing. Transforming dross into gold. Learning to love yourself unconditionally is the hardest work there is.
Now, how can you make this a less-frequent occurrence? Start bedtime earlier? Give yourself five minutes with a cup of herb tea before you start the bedtime routine? Post a schedule to make evenings run more smoothly? Have a rambunctious play session every day before dinner, so the rest of the evening feels calmer and more connected? Commit to spending “special time” with each child every day, so they aren’t running on empty? Commit to exercising or meditating, even for 15 minutes a day? Just do it.
Hard? Yes. You’re creating love out of nothing. Transforming dross into gold. Learning to love yourself unconditionally is the hardest work there is.
But you’re worth it.
And so is your child.
Find the original article here.
Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For Life and Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. Find her online at AhaParenting.com
