2. We’re reacting out of habit instead of responding with what we’ve learned about good parenting.
Habits are hard to break, for sure. Maybe our parents yelled or stonewalled or punished, so their way becomes our default when we’re having a rough moment. We know better, but we perpetuate whatever unhealthy patterns we’ve learned. We think about how to be a better mum and then wham-o, we have a knee jerk reaction that happens before we even realise what’s happening.
How to be a better mum:
You know all those imaginary discussions we have in our heads – most notably the unfinished arguments with our children and partners?
Work with your imagination instead of against it. Mentally practise a better way of parenting when your kid isn’t around so you can implement it more easily when they are.
How does this work? When you’re alone, imagine your child doing whatever behaviour triggers you. Decide how you want to respond in that moment. Work through those imaginary skirmishes through closure. Proactively prepare to forgive them.
True, your kids are still going to expect you to react the way you always have. That’s okay. Motherhood isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon (that runs uphill in the snow both ways).
3. We forget to have fun.
Parenting. It’s all about the never-ending snack cycle! Going to the grocery store! Enforcing bedtime! Staying ahead of our social media addictions! But gosh, when did we forget that life is more fun if we play together? You know the saying about all work and no play (makes Jack a dull boy)? It’s easy to get trapped into thinking motherhood is serious business.
How to be a better mum:
We get to enjoy life with our kids. Let the kids plan part of the daily routine.
Children like to be in charge. Mum and Dad get breaks, too. So what if we eat cereal and chocolate for lunch every once in awhile?
(Related: if you sprinkle the chocolate over the cereal, you can call it salad.) When we feel like no one but us carries the burden of managing our days, it’s time to recalibrate.
Want to know how to be a better mum?
Yes, listen to the advice the experts give about how to be a better mum. Implement what you can. But mostly, be kind to yourself and kind to your kids. It really all comes down to that. When you get it wrong – and you will because you’re human – just keep trying one breath at a time. You’ve got this.
Originally published here.
Sarah R. Moore is an internationally published writer and the founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. You can follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram. She’s currently worldschooling her family. Her glass is half full.
