4. Look for the helpers
Here is a great way to cope with bad news. There’s a reason the video of the host of Roger’s Neighborhood discussing his mother’s advice to “look for the helpers” when a bad thing happens has over two million views. Looking for the best of humanity and turning to community to give and receive comfort are powerful antidotes to fear and helplessness in the midst of community disasters. There are, in fact, many positive and worthy events and projects happening daily, most of which don’t get reported in mainstream news stations. Balance out your bad news cycle with good news. The non-profit Reasons to be Cheerful, ‘an editorial project that is a tonic for tumultuous times’ is a good place to start, as is this fantastic YouTube series by John Krasinski (Jim Halpert from The Office) and his Facebook page, Some Good News.
5. Look for a way to connect with your community, friends and family
Doing things for others can return a sense of control and reduce feelings of helplessness. There are numerous reliable charities set up to help the most vulnerable among us, such as food banks and hospital foundations.
If money is a little tight right now (as it is for many), look for ways to be a source of positivity by encouraging other new mums or pregnant friends. Chances are they are experiencing similar struggles.
Help alleviate loneliness by calling them to check-in, have virtual coffee dates. Or make gifts. If you are knitting a sweater as a way to relieve stress and look forward to your baby’s arrival, knit something simple for another pregnant friend or new mum. The side benefit is that you can also help your friends cope with bad news while helping yourself! If you have a garden, start with something simple like herbs, beans, or even flowers and plan to give some away to neighbours or the elderly by doing driveway drop-offs. The added benefit is that gardening has been proven over and over to have therapeutic benefits.
Here’s the bottom line when it comes to how you can cope with bad news as a mum:
There’s a powerful instinct when bad things happen to shield ourselves and our children from them, but we can grow through hard times. However, if you are finding that recent events are more than you can handle, please speak to your healthcare provider and get a referral. Only you know when the stress is more than you can handle.
Even in challenging times, pregnant women can remain emotionally healthy by recognising that some degree of strong feelings is normal and appropriate and working to reduce the effects of extreme stress.
If feelings become overwhelming, be sure to discuss this with your doctor right away.
Not sure where to turn to for help? Find out Where to Get Help If You’re Pregnant and Depressed as well as our Resources section.
We wrote an eBook to help you get through these difficult times. Get your copy of ‘A Guide to Coping with Stress, Anxiety and Depression While Pregnant During COVID-19‘. The best part? It’s free!
Dr. Dawn Kingston, Canada’s leading expert on perinatal mental health and for over ten years, has been at the forefront of research on how to prevent postpartum depression. Her team has developed the HOPE App which is designed to significantly reduce prenatal anxiety and depression and directly support expectant mothers. They are studying it in a massive implementation study, one of the most ambitious projects of this type ever!
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