What if you’ve fought with your partner in front of your child?
…and you wouldn’t exactly call the things you said respectful?
Don’t panic. The risk factor for the child comes from repeated experiences.
Try this experiment:
For the next few days, consider your interactions with your partner through your child’s eyes.
- Does the tone stay respectful even when you disagree?
- Do voices stay at a calm level?
- Do you both find a way to express your wants and needs without “attacking” each other?
- Is the tone in your home generally one of warmth and support?
- Does your child see daily ample evidence of emotional generosity on both sides?
- Do you make a point of “making up” in front of your child?
- Are there at least five positive interactions for every negative interaction?
Research shows that these practices are good for your relationship. And they model healthy connection and disagreement for your child to see and learn from.
Are you thinking that your fighting could use a tune-up to shift into a healthier mode? What a perfect Valentine’s Day present to your partner!
Originally published here.
Dr. Laura Markham is the founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings and her latest book, the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook.
Hello! Coparent here in this situation.. Any advice for me if the other spouse approached the child afterward saying they will reward them with whatever they want for being subjected to the argument? I feel there should be discussions but not given rewards for this as it seems to be manipulative to me. Any advice would be MORE than grateful. Thank you so much.