I’m loath to admit that I don’t often choose to devote my full attention to my son unless it’s on my timetable. However, “The Season of the Endless Cold” was forcing me to accept a slower pace. It was a good reminder that my son won’t always be fascinated by the sight of a deer (and suggest we too pretend to be deer so as to not scare it). Someday I’ll miss hearing his extensive thoughts on monster trucks. I’ll miss the sight of his curly hair and small body as he runs ahead of me on the trail. I’ll miss allowing the morning to open up in front of us with endless possibilities for adventure.
Slowing down helps us to savor the good moments, and it gives us the tools to cope with the challenging ones.
That day in the woods showed me how little time I actually spend mindfully connecting with my son. We don’t go places without a plan, and we’re usually in a rush. I almost always have an agenda, and “mindfully enjoy my child’s company” rarely makes the list.
Taking the time to slow down gave us an opportunity for connection. That sweet morning helped me remember that mindful listening makes our children feel like they’re worth our time. Even though I tire of hearing about the many different kinds of fire trucks, I know that actively listening to what’s important to my five-year-old means he’ll grow up knowing I’m interested in what he has to say, and that his thoughts have value. Slowing down helps us to savor the good moments, and it gives us the tools to cope with the challenging ones. When we’re mindful, we’re able to choose our words and actions carefully and with intention. I’m reminded of the quote by Dr. John Trainer, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.” They’re also the most important teachers when we allow them to be.
Megan Stonelake is a therapist and parent coach who teaches parents all over the world how to become more peaceful. She has written extensively on peaceful parenting for Parent.co, Hey Sigmund, and The Huffington Post among others. You can follow her blog or schedule a session at her website. You can also follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
