Nicole Koelewijn understands that the health of our relationships impacts how we experience everything in our lives. As a certified coach and mediator, she is passionate about working with people to achieve their relationship goals, whether that be working through a difficult situation with a partner or raising a relationship to the next level. She provides the space and tools to move through conflicts in a healthy, constructive way. She has also created a coaching series for couples going through big life transitions, which is especially beneficial for those becoming parents – a life phase that can challenge relationships on a whole new level. Here Nicole talks to The Natural Parent Magazine about what inspired her to start her coaching business, the challenges she has overcome, and her hopes and dreams for the future.
The passion: What inspired you to set up your business?
It is my personal experience that relationships can be the source of the greatest amount of joy and pain in our lives. Yet I feel that when it comes to these, we don’t get a lot of help. We’re just doing the best we can based on our own life experiences and what’s been modelled to us growing up.
We’re not born innately knowing how to get the most out of our relationships, handle conflict constructively or to reflect in ways that enable insight and growth personally and within our relationships. Like most other areas of our life, this is something we’re constantly learning and growing in.
I’m passionate about empowering and supporting people to consciously reflect on themselves within their relationship and their relationship dynamic, so they can create a more intentional and enjoyable relationship experience.
The launch: How did you start out in the beginning?
I started in the world of workplace mediation before becoming curious about how the techniques and frameworks used here could be highly beneficial for our important intimate relationships. I was especially excited about working with couples to open up communication in a proactive way to enable them to get the most out of their relationships long before they find themselves in high conflict or feeling disillusioned in the relationship.
Therefore, my early coaching series were focused on facilitating a couple’s sense of how to really live life on the same team, consciously set goals together and come up with plans and strategies to move through any potentially difficult times in the future with these at the centre.
The innovation: What was the biggest breakthrough for you with your business?
There’s a lot of information out there about what a successful marriage or partnership should look like. I found most of this to be based on religious ideologies that aren’t relevant for a large percentage of the population, or on outdated concepts that don’t accommodate for the wide range of healthy modern day relationships we have in society.
After realising this, I developed a modern, less preachy and personalised Pre-Marriage Coaching Series for couples looking to explore what they want to get out of their specific and unique relationship. This series gained quite a lot of interest with couples who were seeking a more personalised format to prepare for or flourish in their marriage.
I’ve now adapted this into a coaching series for people going through big life transitions who want to take a step back and consciously thrive through whatever stage of life they are going through together. This series, Coaching for Life’s Seasons, is especially beneficial for couples who are becoming parents for the first (or second or third…) time, a life phase most of us can agree challenges our relationship with our partner on an unprecedented level!