- Where can you find help? Check in on any internal chatter along the lines of ‘good parents do everything themselves’ because they don’t. Good parents do whatever they need to do to get through whatever it is they are dealing with. I work two evenings a week. This meant that when my daughters were younger, I had to pay someone to take them to their activities and put them to bed. It wasn’t ideal – and I resisted it with my own internal guilt chatter – but it was what I needed to do. Don’t ever feel guilty about paying for help (if you can afford to). Most of us don’t have free help readily available. If you are working outside of the home, it’s quite possible that you need someone to do the ‘inside the home’ jobs for you: cleaning, recipe boxes, dog walking, window cleaner, hedge cutter, etc.
Good parents do whatever they need to do to get through whatever it is they are dealing with.
- Talking to yourself with kindness has a much greater impact on your nourishing water levels than you imagine. I have an amazing friend whose default position is, in her words, ‘To beat myself up with a stick about almost everything’. I am always reminding her that she can stop being her own worst critic and become her best cheerleader. The great news is that she is now aware of what she’s doing. With this awareness, she is learning to stop it.
Do you even notice what you’re saying to yourself about yourself? I challenge you to notice that internal dialogue for the rest of this day. If it isn’t helpful, please flip it. Being angry with your partner does not mean you’re a bad person, it means you’re tired, overwhelmed and need help. Not living up to your mum’s standards does not make you slovenly or lazy, all it means is that you are different to your mum and make choices that work better for you and your family.
Can you pick one or two of these things and see how you feel after a week?
Mandy Rees is a lawyer, yoga teacher, baby massage instructor and emotional wellbeing coach. Mandy is an expert in holding space and creates Mother Circles where women can share their motherhood experiences honestly and without fear of judgement. She is the founder of Mother for Life and the unique Mother Circle Guide Programme, an empowered feminine leadership programme through which beautiful Mother Circles businesses are created all over the world. Mandy works one to one with women who want to achieve balance and fulfillment in their life. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
