4. Separate Behaviour from Identity:
As parents, we must remember that our children are not defined by their behaviours. NLP teaches us to accept the person while addressing the behaviour itself. Instead of labelling them as “naughty” or “bad”, you can focus on the specific behaviour that needs attention. For example, if they break something, rather than saying, “Bad girl!” you might respond, “I can see you are frustrated. How can I help you express your frustration differently?”. This approach opens the lines of communication, avoids negative labels, and encourages them to make better choices in the future.
5. Focus on the Positive
Lastly, our unconscious mind has a profound influence on our behaviour and that of our children. One of the prime directives of the unconscious mind is that it does not process negatives. So when I tell you, “Don’t think of a juicy yellow lemon”, your mouth starts to water. But I told you not to do something. Therefore, reframing communication with your children to emphasise the desired behaviour is crucial. For instance, instead of saying “Stop running,” say “Please walk” to redirect their attention to the desired behaviour. By emphasising positive action, you help your children focus on what you want them to do, rather than on what you don’t want them to do.
Incorporating these fundamental principles of NLP into your parenting journey can have a profound impact on your children’s development and your relationship with them. By seeing the world through their eyes, accepting they are doing their best, providing constructive feedback, maintaining separation between their behaviour and identity, and focusing on the positive, you can create an environment that nurtures growth, understanding, and connection.
Which of these principles resonates with you the most?
If you want to dive deeper into the world of NLP and learn how it can positively guide your parenting journey, visit www.skylantern.com.au. Our upcoming NLP Practitioner Training course will provide comprehensive insights and tools to enhance your parenting skills!
April Kinney is a mother and the owner of Kinney & Kinney, a coaching and mentoring company, as well as Sky Lantern, a mindset training company, based in Perth, Australia. At age 50, she successfully navigated a corporate career for over twenty years and is a Certified Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy ®, and Hypnotherapy. April’s mission is to help families navigate their life challenges with clarity and confidence, creating a life of purpose and meaning. Follow along with her journey at www.aprilkinney.com, www.skylantern.com.au, and www.facebook.com/AprilLKinney.
