Those Early Days

By Hayley Zemontas

The sad truth is,
the first few months of our children’s lives 
are rarely enjoyed as much as we’d like.
We want to savour them, freeze them in time, 
keep them precious as dolls; so deliciously ripe
whilst also, envisioning a year or two down the line.

Like a desert mirage, we ache and dream of sleep;
uninterrupted, cosy and deep.
And those otherworldly, early weeks,
they pass by in an exhausted fog
as night sinks into day and we feel we never stop,
barely get a moment to pause, soak it in,
to appreciate the beauty of everything.

Because we’re simply in survival mode,
adjusting to this new and heavy load.
We’re bewildered, with hormones running rife,
the tears streaming without knowing why.
And not only thrust into a whole new life 
but also, wearing a body that doesn’t feel quite right.

Our tummy before, so perfectly round
now tender and saggy; a balloon gone down. 
We’re bleeding, leaking, weak and sore.
Every movement hurts; the skin angrily raw
yet, we need more energy than ever before. 
We are expected to bounce back, push through the pain,
whilst healing from an inner wound the size of a dinner plate.

We play hostess, making endless cups of tea,
greeting visitors in a constant stream.
Playing pass the parcel with our newborn;
it’s a magical time but it’s also a storm.
The days are hectic but the nights can feel lonely.
In the dark broth of night, the hours tick slowly.
There’s no getting around it, sleep deprivation is hell;
the first year is akin to a spinning carousel 
and sometimes, we feel we want to get off. 
Just for a while, have everything stop.

It’s wondrous what a bit of time can do,
a few hours of peace, to reclaim the inner you.
To remember who we were before,
and realise there’s no one we’d rather be more
than the Mother, the family that we are now. 
That, despite the battle, we’ll always get through somehow,
because those gummy smiles and cuddles tight 
and the way they fit into our arms just right,
they remind us of the magic and simple beauty of this life.

Whether you have one baby, two or even three,
It’s true, a parent is a really tough thing to be.
And there’s nothing quite like those raw, early days,
our bodies and hearts tested in a myriad of ways.
They’re fleeting as a bubble, drifting in the sky;
colours brilliant, but gone in the blink of an eye.

We wonder how our babies were ever so small,
reliving those moments as tears fall 
because those early days, they’re gone in a flash,
and they’re even more precious because of that. 

Hayley Zemontas is a first-time mum to twin girls. She loves writing poetry and finds it very therapeutic. You can find her on her Facebook page: Twinmumtruths. 

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