One comment stood out to me, and I can still picture the words clearly, all these years later:
“I’m 26 and I don’t Sleep Through The Night. Why should I expect my baby to?”
Magic.
Actual fairy dust magic.
As I read these simple words, I felt a slight lift in my exhaustion. So I read them again. And again.
There were other moms out there who followed their instincts, and who simultaneously felt confident in doing so.
From that point on, I found the courage to use my voice. I learnt to stop the bullshit advice in its tracks and found a tribe of like-minded moms with whom to share our sleepless adventures.
The thing is, the concept of Sleeping Through The Night is actually a brand worth millions. And the companies selling sleep products and sleep advice need us to keep obsessing over this elusive milestone, so that they can keep on profiting from our exhaustion.
Fuck them and their expensive sleepy stardust, right?
Because we aren’t just ignoring the lady at the pharmacy or an ill-advised relative when we withdraw from the sleep game, we’re inadvertently ignoring an entire industry. Let’s be clear – that takes remarkable strength.
When every dialogue we have about sleep is centred on this one ideal of Sleeping Through The Night, it’s hard to see through the bull and follow our mommy instincts.
So since I happen to have this platform, and since you happen to be reading…I’d like to take a moment to clarify a few of the basics:
Keeping a baby awake during the day will not make her Sleep Through The Night. Sleep begets sleep, remember.
Swapping breastfeeds for formula feeds will not make a baby Sleep Through The Night – in fact, this could severely hamper the breastfeeding relationship overall.
Filling a baby’s tiny tummy with cereal will not make her Sleep Through The Night. The World Health Organization advises parents to “start at 6 months with small amounts of food and increase gradually as the child gets older.” So there’s no mention of liquid-rice at 4 months there then…
Making (not “letting”, let’s be very clear with that distinction) a child ‘cry it out’ will not make her Sleep Through The Night. Instead, the consequences you can expect include, but are not limited to:
- Elevated blood pressure
- Elevated cerebral pressure
- Erratic fluctuations of heart rate, breathing, temperature
- Suppressed immune and digestive systems
- Suppressed growth hormone
- Apneas
- Extreme pressure on the heart, resulting in tachycardia
Moms, do yourselves a favour and trust your instincts. Trust your babies. Most of them will take an eternity to Sleep Through The Night, unless you have a unicorn baby of course…and let’s face it, there are literally two of those born each year…
Let’s collectively embrace this concept of normal infant sleep and find ways to accept, cope with and thrive on what little sleep we are granted.
Isn’t it about time we STFU about STTN?
Louise, aka Mama Bean, writes about the realities of motherhood. You can find her at www.MamaBeanParenting.com and follow her on Facebook and Twitter.
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