Do You Want to Raise an Obedient Child?

So if you’ve always thought that children should be obedient, I invite you to reconsider.

That doesn’t mean you don’t set limits. And sometimes children do have to do what adults say. But children also need to learn they have a right to say no sometimes. How do they learn that? Experience.

Every time your child comes to you when he’s upset, and you listen and take his concerns seriously.

Every time you set a limit with empathy, so you acknowledge her view, even when she can’t get her way.

Every time you look for a win/win solution instead of imposing your will.

Every time you remind yourself that you can’t control anyone but you.

Every time you remind yourself that your baby, your toddler, your preschooler is a person in his own right, with a right to his own preferences.

Every time you say “You’re in charge of that decision” or “What do you think about that?”

Every time you calm yourself enough to say “I hear you think I’m being unfair…I really want to hear what you think…let’s try a do-over with respectful voices so I can understand your perspective.”

Every time you remind yourself that force creates push-back.

Every time your child objects, and you take her objection seriously.

So if you’ve always thought that children should be obedient, I invite you to reconsider. Respectful and cooperative? Yes, absolutely! Kids grow up that way when we listen to their thoughts, treat them with respect, and invite cooperation by working together on solutions.

Obedient? Maybe not.

Find the original article here.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings: How To Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends For Life and Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. Find her online at AhaParenting.com