I am raising “Integrity” and “Harmony” children. They are free to grow out of these “labels” that I find useful to remind me of their highest needs in order to feel safe resting in our relationship and rising into their truest selves. The strengths of harmony and integrity children are endless.
The potential effects of ‘power-over’ or ‘power-under’ parenting are that harmony children are at greater risk of becoming people pleasers, anxious and codependent when they habitually give up their needs and push down their feelings for the sake of others. Whereas integrity children are at risk of being inconsiderate, avoidant and fiercely independent if they don’t have safe spaces to learn how to feel vulnerable feelings.
The parent-child relationship matters greatly. It has the potential to strengthen and harmonise or weaken and split the heart, body, spirit, and mind.
Growing up, we needed to experience belonging and self-acceptance to embody a sense of safety and trust within ourselves and within our relationships.
The parent-child relationship matters greatly. It has the potential to strengthen and harmonise or weaken and split the heart, body, spirit, and mind.
If we didn’t receive that THEN, we can reclaim it NOW, in our hearts and homes.
Parenting with this in mind is an ongoing practice of protecting the authenticity of our child by nurturing the unconditional attachment between us.
Through growing awareness and an intentional healing forward practice, we enhance authenticity and obtain safe attachments.
As we provide an imperfect and messy, yet predictable haven for our children, we provide one for ourselves, and hopefully set the precedent for future relationships and environments.
Education on personal and relational health is essential for progress since it affects us all from the day we are born and influences every area of our lives.
As we provide an imperfect and messy, yet predictable haven for our children, we provide one for ourselves, and hopefully set the precedent for future relationships and environments.
Here’s to us trying our best to soften the hurt and strengthen the love, not perfectly, but intentionally!
At every stage of our ever-evolving being, not only when we soar, but also when we struggle, may we remember that we are worthy of belonging and self-acceptance.
With love,
Lelia
Lelia Schott is a South African mother to four sons and two daughters (aged 22, 20, 18, 15, 8 and 5). Lelia is a certified parent coach, unschooler, independent researcher, writer, dreamer, peaceful parenting and child advocate, lover of nature, music and exercise. On her best days she can be found with her family in the garden, swimming or walking along the beach.
