2. Quit hating on yourself
I cannot overstate how futile beating yourself up about your behaviours, habits and emotions is, no matter how destructive they are.
There’s a widespread addiction to self-hatred and self-blame that stands in the way of healing for many people. When clients try to convince me of how lazy, worthless and unmotivated they are, I know we’ve got some deep work to do and this habit of self-flagellation is where we begin.
Notice the voice in your head when you make a mistake. Is it harsh, critical and hopeless? While all of us have an inner critic, the difference between healing and staying stuck can lie in whether we listen to this voice and believe it, or not. It’s possible to hear the inner critic without believing its lies – and when you can do this, you are able to consciously develop a kind and nurturing voice to counter it.
This voice of self-compassion will be your greatest ally in leading you out of darkness.
3. Begin a dialogue with your physical symptoms
When I’m coaching a client, one of the easiest ways we identify destructive unconscious beliefs is by speaking directly to physical symptoms.
These can include anything from a mild buzz of anxiety in the throat to full-blown disease. Underpinning this is a respect for the body and its ability to tell us exactly what is needed – a message that is often delivered in the form of symbols, pictures and emotions that the individual understands at a deep level.
Question the belief that your body is somehow faulty or broken and you’ll begin to see how infinitely wise it is in its ability to communicate and facilitate deep emotional healing. You can speak to your body by closing your eyes and simply asking a part of your body (or our whole body) what it needs you to know.
Listening for the answer can take some practice, but with time, you’ll come to hone your intuitive abilities and your body will become your best friend.
I believe emotional wellbeing will soon become an accepted tenet of health whose management and optimisation will one day be taught widely as a partner to both traditional and herbal medicine. Until that happens, nurturing your own emotional health begins when you are willing to listen to your emotions and physical symptoms and treat them as friends.
Geordie Bull is a relationship coach + NLP practitioner who helps women with relationship and parenting issues, confidence and self- worth. She is also a journalist and blogger who writes regularly on the topics of emotional wellbeing, parenting and motherhood on her blog at www.geordiebull.com.au.
