4. Support Yourself to Grow With the Three Rs: Reflect, Repair, Responsibility
The times you don’t feel so good about? Resist the urge to beat up on yourself. Use them as motivation to do better. What do cheerleaders say when their teams miss a goal? “That’s alright, that’s okay, We’re gonna do it anyway!”.
- Reflect on what happened and replay in your mind how you wish you had handled things, to alert your subconscious to your intention for next time. Offer yourself compassion. Parenting is hard, and we all mess up sometimes.
- Repair with your child. (Here’s how).
- Take responsibility to give yourself whatever support you need so you can do better next time.
Let those tough moments go, and move on to better interactions.
Offer yourself compassion. Parenting is hard, and we all mess up sometimes.
5. Be your own cheerleader
Give yourself an internal hug or a high five every time you notice yourself acting toward your child in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. Yes, really. That doesn’t mean you have a swelled head. It means you’re working hard to be your best, and you’re valuing that effort. Notice how that helps you be the parent your child needs, more often.
Not only will appreciating yourself make you happier with the way you parent; you’ll find you enjoy parenting more. See how long it takes your child to comment on the difference, or to begin cooperating more, or to become more affectionate. You’re role modelling for your child how they can grow and love and be their own personal best.
Notice that you don’t have to be a perfect parent at all to be the perfect parent for your child.
Originally published here.
Dr. Laura Markham is the founder of PeacefulParentHappyKids.com and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings and her latest book, the Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids Workbook.
