Self-Care And Other Lies

The way self-care is marketed makes it seem expensive, and time consuming, and frankly, not accessible for most of us. When it all seems so complicated, many opt out completely, choosing to forgo self-care entirely in the face of what seems like yet another unfinished task. When pressed, my friends admitted that all they wanted was something simple. Ten minutes with a book, a morning run, coffee drank hot, or hey, let’s be honest, JUST WASHING THEIR HAIR WHILST SHOWERING ALONE. It doesn’t take much to fill our cups, and by complicating the process we are driving women towards more stress, instead of away.

I’m constantly telling my children that all their emotions are OK, so why can’t I hold myself to the same standard?

But, without a lavish option for self-care, will I ever feel truly hashtag blessed? Maybe not. Or at least not to the standard of happiness currently dictated by my social media feed. Positivity has transformed from a handy personality add on, to a mandatory trait. Aside from being impossible, perpetual positivity is surely inhuman! I’m constantly telling my children that all their emotions are OK, so why can’t I hold myself to the same standard?

So, what’s the solution? Let’s take back self-care and return it to its vintage state. I’m reclaiming ugly track pants, and dodgy cuppa soup. Packet biscuits, cups of tea in your favourite mug and trashy TV. Living rooms without well-placed indoor plants. Somewhere along the way we lost sight of the entire point of self-care, and that is to fill our ever-depleting cups. And I’ve found the perfect solution. It’s not lit, or on trend, or even worthy of a snap. It’s logging out. And it works.


Haylee Hackenberg is a writer, a pre-service teacher and a mama to two. Striving for gentle, and sharing adventures of their little life on Instagram and Facebook

1 Comment

  • I love this! My 4yo totally knows that I need to start my day with a hot shower alone. I do talk about self-care with the mums I work with but I emphasise that it’s something that THEY want. That it’s personal. That it’s something that makes them FEEL GOOD. Step away from those Instagram photos of expensive days at the spa if it’s not your thing 😉

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