Self-Care And Other Lies

Photography: Bloom and Blossom With Chantal |

By Haylee Hackenberg

Let’s take back self-care and return it to its vintage state.

Self-care sounds like a great idea, right? I mean, the concept is sound. You feel crap, you do something you love, you feel better. Simple, huh? So why do I feel, lately, that self-care is yet another thing I might be failing at?

A quick scroll of my Instagram feed suggests a range of options for self-care. Manicures, pedicures, long white sandy beaches, fruity cocktails, designer handbag shopping, and according to one account – a colonoscopy.

The thing is though, I don’t have the time, or the inclination for many of them (ahem, tube up the backside, I’m looking at you). I mean, if I’m honest, I just want to curl up with a blanket and my Netflix and have no one talk to me for an hour or two. But social media, and the perfectly contoured faces staring out from it, tell me that this is unacceptable.

And I’m here to say, I think that’s absolute bollocks. 

How did we let it get to this point? What happened to a book, and a cup of tea? To paraphrase our favourite 90s punk pop eyeliner fan, “Why’d we have to go and make things so complicated?”

How did we let it get to this point? What happened to a book, and a cup of tea?

I blame the influencers. Social media influencers are turning every facet of our lives into a competition. If you read a book in the woods in your activewear and you don’t ‘gram it, did it even happen?

The truth is, self-care is big business. The “wellness industry” is the fastest growing in the world, and likely to keep growing. Which is all well and good if it does what it promises. A quick survey among my friends revealed that this wasn’t necessarily the case. In fact, like most other marketing which is tailored primarily towards women, most of the people I spoke to told me that the push for elaborate self-care made them more anxious, not less.

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  1. says: Nikki Veliz Merzliakov

    I love this! My 4yo totally knows that I need to start my day with a hot shower alone. I do talk about self-care with the mums I work with but I emphasise that it’s something that THEY want. That it’s personal. That it’s something that makes them FEEL GOOD. Step away from those Instagram photos of expensive days at the spa if it’s not your thing 😉

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