By Jennifer Robertson
Who would have thought that 7 years of struggling to conceive would have prepared me for the COVID-19 crisis?
But here I sit, isolated from the rest of the world, reflecting on the similarities of this pandemic and infertility. Don’t get me wrong, I understand the seriousness of our current situation and don’t want to trivialise it in any way. I understand that this is a world-wide crisis, but I’m sure that anyone who has struggled or is currently struggling will agree with me – infertility feels a lot like this pandemic.
If you’ve ever wondered what your friend who is suffering from infertility is going through, this may explain it a little.
If you’re struggling to comprehend our current situation and need some tips on how to cope with this upside-down world, this may help a little.
And if you’re currently on your fertility rollercoaster, you may find a little comfort in this, and learn a few things too.
1. All of your plans have been completely thrown out the window
COVID-19: Depending on where you are in the world, if you were planning on getting married, you can’t. If you were planning on taking a holiday, you can’t. If you were planning on going outside, you mostly can’t. People around the world are losing their minds.
INFERTILITY: When you plan on starting a family, you take all the right steps. You stop taking contraception, you start your pre-natal vitamins and you work out 9 months from now and clear your schedule (well that may have just been me). But then when it doesn’t happen according to your plan, you’re forced to try something different. What follows is cycle after cycle, month after month of planning and it not happening. As a result, you put your life on hold and float completely directionless for as long as it takes.
2. You feel completely isolated
COVID-19: The world is being forced into their houses for long periods. If you’re allowed out of your house, you must keep your distance. We are physically disconnected from each other and people are feeling lonely.
INFERTILITY: Suffering from infertility is isolating.
You distance yourself from your friends who have children because it hurts. You pull away from your family because you don’t want them to know how much you’re suffering.
You stop going out to parties for fear of insensitive comments, like, “so when are you going to start a family?”. You feel like you’re the only one suffering, and no one can understand.
3. You are living in a world of fear and “what-ifs?”
COVID-19: People are getting sick and dying all over the world. We hear the statistics each day and it’s scary. People are facing financial difficulties after losing their jobs. So much is unknown. We are all scared and don’t know where to turn next.
INFERTILITY: Infertility is frightening at the best of times. We are scared that we will never become a mum, and facing a future without children is devastating. When we finally fall pregnant, we are scared that it will result in a miscarriage. Anxiety is part and parcel of the fertility rollercoaster.
