Kids live in the present moment. Anger, to them, lasts for less time than it takes for a tear to dry. An adult’s anger doesn’t teacher a child ANYTHING worthwhile. An adult’s anger only confuses, creates fear and causes disconnect, which causes MORE undesirable behavior. A child who laughs at an adult’s anger is actually expressing fear. You might have experienced this and it’s infuriating! The more angry you get, the more they laugh and giggle! This happens because it’s too painful for children to bear the anger. It makes them scared. And, laughter is the antidote for fear.
I could see where if you didn’t know any other way of getting kids to cooperate, you would think that you needed to get more serious about your anger towards a child in order to get her to cooperate. But, it just doesn’t work!
Kids RESPOND to laughter. They RESPOND to fairness and silliness.
Tonight, for about half an hour, we sat and played the silliest game of Snap. We were cheating and lying and laughing and laughing. Kids RESPOND to laughter. They RESPOND to fairness and silliness. It was only me. It was ALL me! As soon as my attitude changed, they were back to ‘normal‘. After the game, I quickly brushed their teeth and they fell asleep, without a complaint and with their total cooperation. Without a worry. Without any fear. Their cups were full. They were happy to have me back. And, I was happy to be back too!
Luckily, kids live in the present moment, so they’ll easily forget about the turd I was to them for a couple days.
To get more ideas on how to use play to get more cooperation from your children, I highly recommend reading the book, “Attachment Play” by Aletha Solter.
Originally published on Katesurfs. Kate is a writer, surfer, mother and divine being of the universe. Find more from Katesurfs on her Website, and follow her on Facebook and Instagram.
