Gentle night weaning
Parents sometimes feel they need to wean completely in order to get better sleep, but weaning doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Reading the children’s book Nursies When the Sun Shines is a wonderful way to introduce the concept of night weaning to your toddler. Talking with them in an age appropriate way and going slowly can make it a pleasant process for both of you. For more information, check out this article on gentle night weaning.
If you are ready to try starting your toddler out in another room at night, consider forgoing the crib and instead putting a mattress on the floor of a childproof room.
You can bring the child into your bed when they first wake in the night, or one parent can go back to that room to lie down with them, cuddling, patting and soothing as needed.
At bedtime, when your child is older, you can try telling them that you have to leave for a few minutes to do something, always returning when you say you will. Eventually, your child will have fallen asleep by the time you get back. Of course, they may still crawl into bed with you in the middle of the night, but rest assured that they will someday sleep just fine without you in their college dorm room!
Two steps forward, one step back
Of course, “nudging” a toddler to sleep longer doesn’t always go smoothly. It’s important to remember that sleep is developmental and can often seem like two steps forward, one step back. If your child is truly upset with what you are doing, you may want to try something else or try the same approach again a few weeks later.
There may be times when you are dealing with particularly disrupted sleep and are feeling exhausted. In these cases, an emergency sleep break can help you cope. Give your baby or toddler to a trusted adult, pump if you need to, then sleep until you wake up naturally. This can make all the difference, even if it’s just once a week during the day on a weekend. Use an eye shade, breathe deeply and feel your body sinking into the bed. If anxiety and/or depression are affecting your sleep, get help here.
Of course, nightmares, illness, stress and other factors can also contribute to disrupted sleep – when a toddler is wound up or crying at night, soothing and empathy are often the best approach.
Even after weaning, children frequently need the reassurance of a parent at night for many years. During the tough nights, try to remember that you are promoting secure and healthy sleep for your child – and it’s a gift that lasts a lifetime.
Sweet Sleep by Diane Wiessinger, Diana West, Linda J. Smith, and Teresa Pitman
Safe Infant Sleep by Dr. James McKenna
Originally published here.
Mary Francell is a board certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) in private practice in Washington state, USA. She and her husband are the parents of three grown children. Mary founded and administers the Biologically Normal Infant Sleep group on Facebook and is an occasional guest host on the Untaming podcast. She has been a La Leche League Leader for over 25 years and currently serves as the Associate Area Professional Liaison for LLL of Washington state. Find out more on her website whatdobabiesneed.com and follow her on Facebook.
