Is this working for the majority of the time?
If you’re currently feeding your baby to sleep and back to sleep for every wake – does this work for the majority of the time? Accepting that sometimes you’ll wish it was different, but knowing that making a change and supporting them in a different way wouldn’t really change things in the big picture.
Am I feeling the need to change things because of external “shoulds”?
If you know in your heart that things are working just fine right now, what voices are telling you that you “should” be making a change? And how can you quieten those voices? If it’s particular social media accounts, unfollow them and curate your feed to be one of empowerment and validation. If it’s particular people in your life, consider ways of reducing the unsolicited advice that makes you question your choices – maybe it’s one-liner responses and changing the conversation, or maybe it’s a stern chat about how you’re happy with how things are right now and appreciate their support in continuing to do it your way.
Accepting that sometimes you’ll wish it was different, but knowing that making a change and supporting them in a different way wouldn’t really change things in the big picture.
How am I meeting my needs right now?
We know this is a long-term gig, and we know that we can’t keep giving and meeting our little one’s needs without meeting our own, because that self-sacrifice only leads to burnout and resentment. So what have you done today to meet your own needs, alongside your mothering?
If you’re reflecting on these questions and you’re seeing some gaps in the way you’re doing things that are contributing to your overwhelm and leading to burnout or resentment, what is something that you can do to address that? Maybe it’s a conversation with your partner and ensuring you’re both on the same page (or at least reading the same book!). Maybe it’s reaching out to another mum who has the same values as you and knows what you’re going through. Or maybe you’re really not even sure where to start – if this is you, I’d love to empower you to find harmony between supporting your little one and doing motherhood in a way that feels good for you, so please reach out.
You’re doing an amazing job.
Sarah is a Baby Sleep & Well-Being Coach and supports parents to understand biologically normal infant sleep and feel empowered on their responsive parenting adventure. With a focus on attachment and the connection between parent and child, the approach of her work is based on simple sleep education and provides solutions which are developmentally appropriate and individually tailored to each unique baby and family. Sarah is also passionate about helping mums understand the social-cultural constructs which they face along their journey and how they can break the mould to meet their own needs, alongside their mothering. Sarah is an Australian mum, providing virtual consults to families worldwide: you can find her on Instagram @blossomandsnooze and you can book a consult on her website www.blossomandsnooze.com.
