By Brooke Maree
Hey! You know it’s possible to educate kindly without jumping on the bandwagon of hate and shame, right? Let me get a few things straight about narrow base carriers AND forward facing.
Time and time again, on the internet and in person, new parents are judged for their choice of carrier and/or how they position their baby in it. They are often given advice with blatant disregard for their feelings, their lifestyle and needs, and where they are currently at.
I know it can feel really good to ride that high horse of ‘knowing better’, the ego loves that, but your black and white approach reflects you, and not actually the parent in front of you who’s simply trying their best with the information they have.
Parents who use a narrow base carrier or forward-face are doing something absolutely amazing by firstly wanting to carry their baby and keep them close, and secondly actually going to the effort of doing it!
Clipping their baby in and carrying them around deserves a massive round of applause and should never ever EVER be shamed or thrown in their face.
Talking about narrow base carriers not being the best option for hip development and long-term comfort is never about shaming them, it’s about saying, “Hey, you know there are some other options out there that can give you a much more enjoyable experience”.
And there’s nothing wrong with having this conversation gently. It doesn’t equal shame. We can ALWAYS be kind, it’s not hard. New mothers are fragile and parenting is bloody tough.
When parents know better, they do better, and this isn’t about shaming or putting down or touting words like “crotch dangler” and being extremely negative and putting your nose up and being snobby. No! That needs to stop. It’s about giving them a pat on the back and saying you are doing an amazing job, but just so you are aware, there are actually even better options out there that you can use too!
I would much rather parents have this information readily available in a positive manner. This will avoid them going out and spending $200 on a baby carrier that they and their baby hates, that they then throw out and say babywearing isn’t for them, and never again do they pick up a carrier and give their baby extra cuddles in it. I would much rather them be aware that there are awesome options out there that can be super comfortable for hours on end and for years to come. This will enable them to provide close cuddles with their child day in and day out.
So next time you see someone using the term “crotch dangler” or saying how bad these carriers are, stop and tell them that cuddling a baby is never bad and we can always educate without shaming.
A mother’s mental health is of the utmost importance. Like, we all realise parents don’t ever try and intentionally cause harm to their child, right? They don’t intentionally use this carrier with a sign that says “please shame me”. Stop and take a minute to remember they are human and just trying to do their best, so maybe show them some love and admiration for the effort they are putting in.
Safety is always a priority. But the rest? Don’t sweat it. Inform with kindness and move on. That’s how we will see more parents enjoying safe, optimal, and comfortable babywearing. Not by scaring them away with judgement and rigid rules/expectations.
My job is to educate as best I can all the time and support parents. In the end, it’s their baby and they can decide how they parent and that’s okay. I invite you to do the same.
Brooke Maree is a Babywearing Educator and mother of two based in Brisbane, Australia. She is passionate about parents finding joy and confidence in their roles by using a baby carrier or sling to make their lives easier. An expert in her field, she provides educational blogs, video tutorials, a monthly podcast, private consultations, and is soon launching an online program. Find out more about her services at babywearingaustralia.com.au.
