2. Eliminate “Cutting out the trivial many”
McKeown uses the analogy of cleaning out your wardrobe. “If I didn’t already own this, how much would I spend to buy it?” – it is not enough just to decide what makes the highest contribution – you also have to eliminate those that don’t.
I can make poor decisions on how to use my time, particularly at a micro level. It’s often not conscious. Scrolling mindlessly for too long on social media, not calling someone whom I know would light me up, and choosing short-term gratification over meaning and purpose. When I do this, I am saying yes to the trivial many and no to more important things I could be doing with that time.
3. Execute “Removing Obstacles and Making Execution Effortless”
Once you’ve decided where to put your effort and energy – you need a system to make executing your intentions as effortless as possible. This can be the hardest part. It takes intention, commitment, and discipline to cut out the ‘trivial many’ pulls on our time.
For some people, a blocker to enjoying a slower pace is their inability to say no. For me, it is more about my enthusiasm to say yes (or offer!).
There’s a bottomless pit of things I want to learn, do, and achieve, which all takes up precious time. That is fine if I have intentionally chosen to pursue them because of my goals and values. However, without regular reflection and inevitable course correction, my time and attention can quickly be taken away from the things and people that are most important to me.
Being an Essentialist is an aspiration – it feels intrinsically right. Why wouldn’t I want more space in my life to focus on those people and things that truly matter? I will relapse many times, but it’s a journey that I am keen to keep progressing on.
Just because it is a good idea, or fun, or even the ‘nice’ thing to do… doesn’t mean you should do it.
Try this:
Someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do:
Easy Option: “I’ll get back to you later today” (defer, defer, defer). Then send a message thanking them for thinking of you, and unfortunately, you cannot fit it in at the moment.
Difficult Option: “Thanks for thinking of me for that. I wish I had more time to fit that in, but regrettably, I do not”.
All you need is 30 seconds. 30 seconds of sitting in the discomfort of saying no.
Be comfortable with silence! Don’t fill the silence with apologising or worse – agreeing! Connect in with the time you are saving not being annoyed at yourself for saying yes!!
Someone asks you to do something that you DO want to do:
“I’d love to be involved in that. What are your timeframes for delivery?… I just need to check what else I have on at the moment, and I will get back to you”.
Consider what else you have on and how this particular work aligns with your goals and values. Additionally, work out how much time it will take and consider whether it is realistic to deliver in the timeframes.
For more info…
Quick read: The disciplined pursuit of less
Audio interview: https://hbr.org/2014/07/to-do-things-better-stop-doing-so-much
Deep dive: https://www.amazon.com/Essentialism-Disciplined-Pursuit-Greg-McKeown/dp/0804137382
Originally published here.
Belinda Haan is a writer, advocate, and facilitator focused on re-writing the motherhood experience. She uniquely blends the best of psychology and heart to support women in their transition into motherhood. She is the founder of The Motherhood Gathering, which provides a loving container for women as they navigate the joy and full catastrophe of early motherhood. You can follow Belinda on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
