Despite this knowledge, being in India has made me realise that I relied on the clock more than I thought. I understood that when baby cried, I would often look to the time to tell me whether he is tired or hungry, or simply needing a change in scenery. In India I do not have this opportunity. Or rather, even if I could see a clock it could not be relied upon to tell me if it had been three hours since his last feed, or if it “time” to put baby to bed.
This meant that I had only my baby as a guide to, well, my baby. When he became upset I could only focus on him to guide me as to whether he was hungry or tired, or, as was quite often the case in India, overwhelmed and needing some time out. My husband is the first born son and our baby boy is our first child, so in traditional India he is a very big deal. This meant that some days we had many visitors and attended ceremonies for our boy’s health and long life. On these busy days, knowing the time would have been unhelpful anyway because my baby needed more frequent breastfeeds and naps, I think simply as a way to reconnect and take time away from the loving chaos that surrounded us. India is chaos. It is colorful, loud, honest and often overwhelming. That is how I experience it as an adult, I can’t imagine how huge it must feel for a baby. Especially a baby unused to the sights, smells and sounds. So I was happy to give my boy more frequent breastfeeds and the opportunity for some time out.
In our two bedroom unit in Australia, life has a pattern. Swimming lessons on Wednesday, Rhyme Time at the library on Friday. I know baby can go four hours between feeds during the day and we start our nighttime routine at 6pm – bath, boob and bed.
Travelling in India, the pattern of the day is less certain and more hectic. It forced me to parent in a more conscious way. I had to think not ‘what is the time?’ but more, ‘what is my baby telling me’? As parents, we often get caught up in focusing on the big job of helping our little people to learn about being in the world, that we forget about the inherent knowledge they have. Thank you India for reminding me that my baby does know when he is tired, when he is hungry for milk and when he is hungry for reconnection.
My job is to learn to listen, trust and provide for his need. Despite what the clock or the latest parenting guide may say.
I am a Child Health Nurse and Lactation Consultant from Sunshine Coast, Queensland. You can find me on Facebook HERE. I have a six month old baby boy. I enjoy writing and learning about how our little people grow and how to help mothers enjoy their parenting experience as much as possible. I believe a happy, well supported mother grows happy, healthy, well attuned children and this is the most important, challenging and wondrous experience of all.
