Letting Your Values Guide You Through Motherhood

Photography: Serina Crinis

By Belinda Haan

Life is full of ups and downs – sometimes it can feel like we are swept out to sea by a huge storm. We can spend so much energy steering our boat away from the rocks that we forget that we can simply look up at the guiding light of the lighthouse. 

Values are our unchanging, reliable light that shines from the lighthouse. Regardless of the weather conditions, the lighthouse provides a solid ground and clear direction. It is always there, regardless of whether the sun is shining, or there is some terrible storm. 

For values to guide us, we need to create space to learn what they are for us. When we know what our values are, they can be our internal lighthouse. We can go to them each time we have a decision to make, or when we are having a bad day, or when we are setting goals. And, they are always our guiding light to the way we want to show up each day. We can’t always act in alignment, but we can always pivot with warmth and compassion towards the lighthouse once more. 

For values to guide us, we need to create space to learn what they are for us. When we know what our values are, they can be our internal lighthouse.

Knowing and aligning with our values is one of the secrets of flourishing in motherhood. Happiness can feel elusive and if we have that as our life goal, we can feel like we are failing. 

Instead, we can let go of being happy all of the time, and pursue a meaningful life. The pursuit of a meaningful life acknowledges that sometimes there are storms but the lighthouse (values) is always there to guide us home. 

There are many ways you can explore your values but all of them require some space for reflection and connection with your heart. Experiment and importantly, let go of getting it perfect and right. Remember, it isn’t about the words as much as it is about the feeling you get when you are living your life to your highest purpose. 

What do you really want more than anything else? (other than sleep!).


Belinda Haan is a writer, advocate, and facilitator focused on re-writing the motherhood experience. She uniquely blends the best of psychology and heart to support women in their transition into motherhood. She is the founder of The Motherhood Gathering, which provides a loving container for women as they navigate the joy and full catastrophe of early motherhood. You can follow Belinda on FacebookInstagram and LinkedIn.  

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