Love You More

Photography:Poppy Peterson Photography

By Hayley Zemontas

I shouted a lot today.
I’m sorry for that.
I was feeling frustrated, tired and mad.

You were testing, trying, button pushing,
scuffing the line of the boundaries I’ve drawn.
Kicking, screaming, spilling milk on the floor.

Sometimes I have to raise my voice,
when you’re making a negative, unwise choice.
Else how would you learn what is good and bad?
Develop empathy for those who are sad? 

Some days I have more patience but others, it’s worn thin.
A day stuck at home with the walls closing in;
friction sizzling beneath our skin.

When you’re bored of the toys and I’m drowning in chores,
We bundle on coats and escape outdoors.
Let the cold fill our lungs, remind us to breathe;
everything’s better with a change of scene. 

If I’m lucky, you might succumb to sleep,
and I’ll luxuriate in 30 minutes peace.
Well, maybe 10; we can but dream. 

Back home, ready to start afresh.
Leave our grumps at the door and begin again.
As you played so nicely, I felt the guilt spread,
remembering my annoyance, the cross words that I said.

So I pulled you for a cuddle to make amends. 
You my sweet girl, put your head against mine,
kissed my face and let our hands entwine.
And I knew for you, those moments were already gone,
cast high and far away on a wind so strong.

For the tetchy times are fleeting and few,
Instantly erased by you.
When you’re cocooned within my hug,
safe in the knowledge that you are loved.

I shouted today but it matters none,
because you know there’s nothing that could be done,
to change the fact that you’re my world, my stars and the beaming sun.

No matter what has come before
I still couldn’t ever love you more. 

Hayley Zemontas is a first-time mum to twin girls. She loves writing poetry and finds it very therapeutic. You can find her on her Facebook page: Twinmumtruths.

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