If “little life annoyances” like this are pulling us back and bringing us down, then what about the bigger life issues that we have come to accept and live with? Of course, bigger life issues have a much bigger impact on our happiness, energy and wellbeing, but yet again, we hold on to them for far too long. Do you look back on some positive changes that you have made previously in your life, and like me think, “why didn’t I do that sooner?”. And, have you only just asked yourself that question, or have you actually dug deeper to come to the answer? In some cases, it may take a while to come to that answer, maybe a bit later in life once we have more life experiences, maturity, and perspective once the situation has changed. Regardless of whether we know why we previously waited so long to make a positive change, isn’t the realisation that we should have made the change sooner enough to make us behave differently in the future? Okay, I admit, maybe it isn’t that simple and easy, BUT, we only have a limited amount of time on this earth, AND, that time is too short and far too precious to be spending it in a stressful, unfulfilling job, doing work we do not enjoy, or staying in an unhealthy or draining relationship, or being drained and dragged down by that clutter (or annoying kitchen handle) in our home and/or lives.
Regardless of whether we know why we previously waited so long to make a positive change, isn’t the realisation that we should have made the change sooner enough to make us behave differently in the future?
So, you have a choice, and our life is defined by the choices we make. If you’re not doing so already, think about something(s) you are currently holding onto which you are tolerating, is draining you or making you unhappy or unfulfilled (job, relationship, possession). Ask yourself, is this something that I want to accept as it is, and continue to live with? OR, is this something which I want to change? I sincerely hope that it is the latter because we all deserve better. So, if your choice or desire is to make a change, then ask yourself “what is stopping me or holding me back?”. Here are some common examples.
If it’s a relatively easy change to make (like my kitchen cabinet handles), then what’s stopping you?
- procrastinating or not prioritising it
- ignoring or minimising the impact it is having on my happiness / life
- unorganised
- need to free up some time in my schedule
- need someone to watch my kid(s)
- don’t know how to do it – need to investigate further or hire someone to help support me or do it for me
- don’t have the money – need to create a plan to save some money to pay for it, or ask for help
Or, is it something bigger or deeper that is holding you back from making a more significant change, such as:
- a fear (it may be a specific fear of something, or even fear of the unknown of what’s on the other side)
- stepping away from or risking financial security
- not trusting myself or my abilities
- a negative or limiting belief or thought that I am telling myself (e.g., “I’m not going to find anything/anyone better”, or “I’ll be alone and single forever at my age”, or “I won’t be able to find another job or make a career change at my age, or with my experience”)
- concern about what others may think or say (what are you telling yourself that others may think or say?)
You can declare 2022 as the year of change, or even target a specific month by when to make the change.
Overcoming What’s Holding You Back
If you are able to identify what fear, concern or limiting belief is holding you back, ask yourself, “What if the opposite was true?”, “What would that look like for me?”, “How much happier, more wonderful, fulfilling would my life be?”. Really try to articulate and visualise that difference in as much detail as you can. When you think about and visualise the opportunity for greater happiness and fulfillment that is awaiting you on the other side of the change, this will help motivate you to take action to make the change. Then you can really commit to making the change and take action towards it. You can declare 2022 as the year of change, or even target a specific month by when to make the change. And if you really want to be successful in making the change, write down the steps or some ideas or options of things you could do to make the change a reality. A series of small, attainable steps added up can make a big change become a reality!
Knowing that you want to make a change is the first step. If you are clear about what you want, but are having difficulty identifying what is holding you back or preventing you from making the change, a focused coaching session on identifying and overcoming fear would be beneficial (Overcoming Fear Session | Elevate Your Life Co (elevateyourlifecoaching.com.au)). And if you know that you want a change for the better, but need further support defining your desired future state or direction, a Personal Vision & Strategy Session | Elevate Your Life Co (elevateyourlifecoaching.com.au) would be beneficial.
Article originally published here.
Steph Sullivan is a dual certified Life and Health Coach and founder of Elevate Your Life Coaching PTY LTD. After 23 years in demanding, high-stress corporate roles as a business consultant, then a corporate executive, she knows firsthand about stress and trying to balance career and parenting demands, along with personal needs and wellbeing. Now Steph’s purpose is helping people to make life changes to reduce stress, increase energy, and achieve their personal goals, life ambitions, and wellbeing. You can connect with her on LinkedIn, email her at steph@elevateyourlifecoaching.com.au and follow her on Facebook.
