Here are some ideas on how you can proactively manage your mental health:
- Prioritise you – It is not selfish; it is self-preservation. It means that you can have more energy for your family, friends and work; and who benefits the most from that? Do what brings you joy more often. Fit your emergency mask before helping others. Stop putting it off. Take some small steps to make this happen for you. You know what you need; it is time to make it a priority.
- Be kind – In those moments when there is a chasm between your ‘ideal self’ and reality, talk to yourself like you would your best friend. This parenting gig can be so hard; can we access compassion?
- Connect with people – We mamas all know the struggle well. I have not met a mama who has it all together all of the time. We all have days when we yell and feel like the worst mother on earth. We all have down days. We all have anxious moments. Talk with others. Share your challenging days as well as your awesome days. Chances are, others have been there, too.
- Make an appointment with your GP – If you’ve been struggling for a while, speak with your GP about how you’ve been feeling. Ask for help. Get a referral to a psychologist. You can access up to six sessions for free or at least subsidised, and a professional can guide you through what to do.
How to help others:
- Ask your friends R U OK? – You may not have heard from someone in a while, or you noticed she didn’t seem herself when you last caught up. Ask her if she is OK and be with her. Look into her eyes and be present. Listen to her without judgement and without solving her problems. Ask her how she can take action and offer your support. Then follow up. There are many resources to support you at ruok.org.au.
- Be honest about your struggles with friends – Your vulnerability and transparency normalises things for others and opens the door for people to share their own concerns.
- Do random acts of kindness – See a mama crying at drop off? Put a ‘You’re awesome!’ card in her letterbox or on her car. Pay for a coffee in advance at your local café and ask that it be gifted to a mum with a newborn. Leave a meal on the doorstep of a mama you know who is having a rough time. The benefits to the giver are possibly more than to the receiver!
If you or someone you know is struggling, there are some wonderful organisations that can help. Don’t be afraid to ask.
Belinda Haan is a writer, advocate, facilitator and consultant focused on re-writing the motherhood experience. She uniquely blends the best of science, philosophy and heart to support women in their transition into motherhood. She is the founder of the Motherhood Gathering which is an 8-week, evidence-based, nurturing mothers’ group focused on the mother. You can follow Belinda on Facebook and Instagram.
