Miscarriage with Children

By Jennifer Robertson

Life must go on. 

As a parent, all we ever want to do is protect our children and ensure they are happy.  

We pick them up when they fall, we hug them when they’re afraid and we wipe their tears when they’re sad.  

It comes with the territory of being a mum, and after 7 years of struggling with infertility, I’m blessed that I have two beautiful children of my own.  

I LOVE being a mum. But it’s one of the most challenging things I have ever done.  

As women, we are nurturers by nature. Which means we feel the need to take care of everyone around us – our children, our partner, our parents, our friends and our work colleagues.   

There are times, however, when it would be nice if someone looked after US. 

For me, it was after my miscarriage. 

After 5 years of struggling with infertility, my little boy Luca was born via a surrogate.  Two weeks later I fell pregnant naturally. 7 weeks later I suffered a miscarriage. 

Looking back, I’m grateful that my little boy couldn’t pick up on my complete devastation. That he wasn’t asking questions, nor could he see my tears. 

But as a mum, life must go on. Our babies still need to be fed, bathed, clothed and supported emotionally. 

How do you keep being a parent to your existing children, when you’re dying inside a little? 

What usually happens is that we pretend. We suck it up. 

We don’t take the time to grieve, because outwardly we’re trying to protect those around us.  

And if we crumble, if we let down those walls even just a little, we’re afraid that we may not be able to dig ourselves out of grief. 

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