Children instinctively crave connection, but they are not alone. It is also the antidote for grown-ups who may feel overwhelmed or overworked and experience a similar frustrated sluggishness. As I have been known to point out to my kids, there is always something to clean, make, fix, explore, or read. Yet, admittedly, I don’t always feel like doing it, either.
That said, it helps to remember that feeling ineffective or at a loss has more to do with a state of depletion than a dull existence, because boredom isn’t a problem of having nothing to do and nowhere to go: boredom is a problem of existential crisis. It’s a problem of isolation that leads to the temporary illusion of uselessness.
…it helps to remember that feeling ineffective or at a loss has more to do with a state of depletion than a dull existence, because boredom isn’t a problem of having nothing to do and nowhere to go…
When I feel unmoored, relating to someone else grounds me and simultaneously further develops my perspectives and my sense of possibility. It’s easy to be a busy adult, but it’s important to nurture ourselves with time and space for the delights and inspiration of friends and family. Knowing this helps me as a parent to open myself to my children with focused listening, the intimacy of shared humor, physical closeness, and periods of undivided attention.
When we feel disengaged and gray with self-pity, it’s the interrelationship between positive human contact and fresh perspective that breaks the spell most effectively, at any age. Reach out to those who love you and treat you with unconditional, positive regard to quickly refuel your sense of connectedness and resulting purpose. Encourage your children to do the same. After all, empathy takes us outside of ourselves, and so connection is inevitably an ecstasy experience.
“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life” – Albert Einstein
To my children: Feeling connected is about making room for both closeness and openness. Human connection gives life meaning, and a meaningful existence is intrinsically motivating; it’s an excellent investment of time and energy. You simply can’t feel bored when you’re building your life.
