Technology is not to blame and everyone that wants us to do something relating to their business or particular interest is just taking advantage of the fact that this is the prime way to communicate these days, and communication is everything. But how many of us are guilty of putting technology above our kids because it’s easy to get that mental escape or adult conversation after a full day of only interactions with your kids and the messy floor?
Admittedly, I am worse than my husband. Since I’m working most hours of the day, it’s challenging to find time to organize appointments, check personal emails, talk to my family, write grocery lists, balance accounts, shop for a nursery, research pregnancy questions, and much much more. I try to squeeze it all in between 6 and 9pm, often forgetting that my bedtime is the same as my son’s. That the bills can be scheduled on my lunch break. That the shopping can wait. That I only get one chance to make memories for the day with my son. And I’m actively choosing to use that opportunity to multitask because I’m a perfectionist and I want to have control of everything.
…how many of us are guilty of putting technology above our kids because it’s easy to get that mental escape or adult conversation after a full day of only interactions with your kids and the messy floor?
I’m guilty of being a mother that says her child is everything but then doesn’t put those words into action. I try to embrace the tough parts of parenting with patience because I know one day my son will be a student in college, and I’ll miss the tantrum he threw over not being able to have popsicles for dinner or the times he spilled his milk all over the table on purpose. At least in those moments, he was my own. I could hug him and comfort him. I could choose to say it’s OK when he looked at me for a reaction. In years that will flash by quickly, he will have a wife to trust with stories of his day and I won’t be the woman that makes him smile daily anymore.
My depression makes it so that I zone in on these memories that haven’t happened yet, which is good and bad. It motivates me to make the time with my son be as positive as possible. I hold on to every piece of motherhood God has blessed me with because I know this mother-child relationship develops and takes turns and even detours where you may never expect it to. And these years when my son considers me his best friend and he opens doors for me and holds my hand and shares his snacks with me are the sweetest. But I shouldn’t think of the future as a sad thing or a loss, and sometimes I do. It’s like premature nostalgia choking me.
But if my phone is getting in the way of me being the type of mother that I want to be, then it’s time to turn it off altogether when he’s around and there’s no emergency. Make rules and stick to them. Even pictures I’m afraid to miss will have to be missed because I want to communicate with my son more than I want to communicate with people on the other side of my phone.
Originally published HERE.
Susanna is an engineer and multifaceted freelance writer and editor. Writing in hopes of inspiring others to live smarter and kinder. You can find more from her at Singing and Screaming.
