My daughter is seven and my son is about to turn four. They are fiercely independent, stubborn and opinionated.
They will take on most tasks with a level of confidence I admire greatly, yet when it comes to bedtime they fall asleep in my arms as they always have. They need me to be there to make them feel safe and there’s nowhere I’d rather be.
At times I used to find it beyond frustrating to have to cuddle my daughter to sleep. After several hours in her toddler-sized bed I would be ready to scream, and to be honest I probably did at times. But I also have endless memories of sweet bedtime chatting and hugs that didn’t last long enough.
As the children have grown, our lives have changed. We have school, nursery and work. Life is busy.
After hobbies and dinner we have spent an entire day without being able to have a full conversation. Everything is geared towards making the day flow as smoothly as possible and I have now come to really appreciate those minutes of silence where we cuddle in to each other.
They need me to be there to make them feel safe and there’s nowhere I’d rather be.
I realised that there is nothing I love more than holding my children and feeling their bodies relax as I hear their breathing slow down.
I just lay there, holding them and feeling completely overwhelmed with love. There’s no rush or interruption. No sibling bickering or disagreements, it’s just peaceful and quiet.
Of course there are times when it’s just not possible to uphold a nightly cuddle marathon with two sleep stealers. But if you find yourself able to spare a few minutes, there is nothing I would recommend more then spending those last few minutes of awake time with your child in your arms.
Unfortunately I’ll have to find another “sleep association” to support my “bad habit” when my children grow up and no longer have the time or want to cuddle their mum at bedtime. For now I take pleasure in knowing that my children fall asleep every night feeling loved and safe, but more than anything I know they fall asleep without worrying about monsters under their beds.
Before I know it they’ll be teenagers, but I will still have the memories of bedtime cuddles and I will cherish those forever more.
Sofie Thomson is a writer, breastfeeding advocate and (breastfeeding) peer supporter from Sweden, now living in the Scottish Highlands with her husband and children. Since completing her degree in Child and Youth Studies, she has focused on encouraging parents to follow biological norms and trust their natural parenting instincts via her blog – The Gentle Mum. You can also follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
