By Megen Hibbins
We all have seen the shift towards natural parenthood, and I am a massive advocate, to parent as naturally as possible.
So why has there become a shift where we now see parenting as an us-and-them approach?
Recently, I have been with parents who parent in a holistic way and others that just parent the way their parents did before them. The holistic parents are fresh foods, no sugar, homemade crafts and clothing, and freshly cooked foods, while the other parents just grab a burger feed or clothes from wherever they feel like shopping.
As a “natural parent”, I love to cook foods for our kids, grab up-cycled clothing and live as organically as possible, but on the other hand, I will grab a feed on the way home, and if the price is suitable, pick up bargains from our local Big W.
Does either style mean you have it wrong if you love your children, and allow them the freedom to be kids?
The “clique” way we now see parenting is something that we need to address, considering it is an overflow from our own schooling days where cliques and group mentality was how it was done. The real world needs a different approach: one that shows acceptance of parenthood in all the beautiful forms it takes.
Does either style mean you have it wrong if you love your children, and allow them the freedom to be kids?
I know that I did an article on the “clique system” not that long ago, but it is a relevant word for this article as well. Children benefit from being allowed to grow into their individuality and to do this we need to appreciate the parents that are attempting to raise a holistic child, whether naturally or “standard”.
The other thing that has to be addressed in this holistic world of parenting is the belief that “discipline” is a bad thing. The word discipline doesn’t mean the old version of “spare the rod and spoil the child”; it means setting boundaries, being the parent, and making sound choices for your children as you are their teacher in life skills.
So many people now believe that being “friends” with their children is the way to create a lasting bond. Then why have I interviewed parents who wished they had parents who showed their love with some discipline? Why is it that they felt neglected because they were given the freedom to go and do whatever they wanted without boundaries?
Why?
It is because as hard as it is to say no to our children, as hard as it is to see the disappointment in their faces, it is harder to feel the disrespect that they show us when they feel neglected – lashing out to get some sort of recognition, response, or reaction that you truly care and love them.
The word discipline doesn’t mean the old version of “spare the rod and spoil the child”; it means setting boundaries, being the parent, and making sound choices for your children as you are their teacher in life skills.
Children love boundaries. They love to know you care about what they are doing more than the TV, computer, or mobile phone. They need to feel that they are important enough to listen to, but also know that when you say “hold on”, that you mean that you will speak to them in a minute, not ignore them and blow them off in favour of anything, or everything else.
Boundaries make happy people, adults, children, and babies
Boundaries allow us all to know that line that is socially appropriate: that our yes is yes and our no is no. Children and babies push boundaries and make you take time for them because they feel neglected. No, they won’t recognise that emotion, but as they grow up and the feelings intensify, as they grow and the boundaries have been that loose, they start to become demanding and unappreciative.
